Why teething toys are awesome. And, why they are not.

So, these icy toys that are meant to soothe Jack's gums
are great for awhile. Then, they turn his cheeks red
and he can't feel his tongue anymore so he bites on it
and he drools. Leaks like a sieve. There are no longer
any drought restrictions in the city of Denver because
of Jack's drool production. Also, he thinks it is a
fabulous game to throw them on the floor and wait for
someone (me) to pick it up. Now, I'm not going to lie --
as much as I would like for Jack to grow up in a germ-
free, spotless environment, it is just not possible.
Especially with a big dog and a little cat. For the first
few days I was running to the kitchen to wash and
disinfect all of the toys off before giving them back to
him. Each and every time. That's A LOT of washing.
Jack throws toys often. That practice then deteriorated
into just rinsing toys with water. Maybe warm, maybe not.
Depends on my mood.
Now, I am afraid to admit that if he's lucky, I might just
blow on the toy or shake it a little to get rid of the
excess pet hair. Does this make me a bad mother? Nope.
Just a realistic one. Germs happen, deal with it!

Jack contemplates crawling...and other things.

So Jack is 7 months and 1 week old now. 2 bottom
teeth. Very sharp. Can probably draw blood if he
wanted to. He can crawl backwards and in a circle but
not forwards yet. He can, however, launch himself in
a forward motion but this is only recommended when
on a bed. Floors are not good for face plants! Wild Man
Jack loves to dance and bounce and chew on everything.
He thinks TV is the most amazing thing that he has ever
seen (Mom only lets him watch for 5-10 minutes at a time
while his manicure and pedicure are taking place. PBS only.
I promise! No Barney!) Bath time is cool especially when his
rubber duck is invited for fun but naps are apparently
only for babies. Jack has stated that he is no longer a
baby, therefore, no naps. I miss naps.

Things heard around our house this week

"Hey Rob -- did you know that boogers float?"
"I think that was a poop explosion!"
"Please don't eat the cat."
"No, Jack, you can't pick mommy's nose."
"Please be nice to the book, Jack."
"Yay! More pictures from Shutterfly!"
"Jack, please don't spit on him."
"Jack, give mommy the spoon. Give mommy the spoon.
Please give mommy the spoon. Ok, keep the spoon."

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought I would
ever utter any of these phrases. If this is what I am now
reduced to -- God help us all.

This is why Amy shouldn't be allowed in baby stores

This is the alligator that Jack drooled on while we
were shopping for a stroller so I felt compelled
to buy it. Thankfully, it was only $6 at a resale shop.
He thought it was the most amazing toy he had ever seen
for the 3 minute car ride from this store to the evil Babies
'R' Us store. Then, he promptly threw it on the floor of
the backseat. It has not been touched since.
At least mommy thinks it's pretty!

Now, back to the evil, evil Babies 'R' Us. First, never
trust a store with a backwards letter in its name. Second,
never trust a tired mommy with a tired baby in tow to
make wise decisions in a baby superstore. We were
under strict instructions to purchase only an inexpensive
umbrella stroller for our upcoming vacation extravaganza
in lovely Toledo, Ohio. We tested out 8 strollers. This
might sound like a lot to the uninitiated, but there were over
40 to choose from so I thought that I was being judicious.
Jack liked the $299 model. He thought that it fit his butt
nicely and admired the many accessories that were included.
He was also impressed with the shiny wheels and the 4 cup
holders. Mom liked the $29 model. Mom won. The evil baby
superstore spirits would not let me out of their clutches
without buying some detergent, a sippy cup that says "Jack"
on it, a new swaddle blanket and a Fisher Price set of blocks.
As I explained it to Rob when we got home, I actually saved
us money by buying those other "not on the list" items because
I could have gotten the $299 stroller and then where would we be?!
Also, I had a coupon.
That's mommy math. Gotta love it!

This is why a boy needs his dad...

See? This is why a boy needs his dad. I would NEVER do this! Rob and I play totally differently with Jack. I'm more of a smother-him-with-kisses, snuggle-up and read a book parent while Rob is a throw-him-up-in-the-air, bounce-him-all-over kind of guy. I'm sure I will get to the point where Jack runs in the house says "I hurt myself" and instead of freaking out I ask him "Are you bleeding?" "How much?" or "Did you lose an entire limb?" and that's that, but, for now, I prefer to keep him closer to the ground. Bookbabies at the library tomorrow morning then it's off for my last day at Dillard's. Not even remotely sad about it. I feel so jerked around by that company at this point in time that I seriously hope that you all go out to Macy's or Nordstrom's this weekend and buy yourselves something nice...New job starts on the 14th and I'll report on that as it gets closer. Second tooth coming in and MAN, can this kid bite! I'm pretty sure he will draw blood if we let him. Still no movement (pardon the pun) on the crawling front. Still moving backwards -- he's just faster now. He's also doing a forward lunging motion that always ends in a face plant so that maneuver is only allowed on our bed. Make sure you check out his super-smiley new photos from Sears on the 3rd, and let me know if you don't have the link!

What's July 4 without fireworks??

So, how do you celebrate the 4th of July when your kid
goes to bed at 7:30 p.m.? You go to the park and let
him watch his mom and dad eat fried chicken, that's what!
We decided against keeping Jack up to watch fireworks. It's
taken us too long to get a bedtime routine set up to goof
it up now. We all went to Wash Park for lunch and Jack
had his first turn on the swings. Not sure what he thought
of it -- he didn't smile but he didn't cry, so I guess that's a
good sign! Hung out with the ducks on the lake and then
home for a good nap. Totally slept thru all of the pomp
and circumstance at 10 p.m. but was up all night after that
waiting for his new tooth to make an appearance. As soon as it
arrives, it's steak and corn on the cob for everyone!
Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Rollin' Wit Da Homies...

Jack was rolling with his homies today as we went to
Wash Park for Strollercize this morning. What I
thought was going to be a mommy gabfest turned into
an actual workout with lunges and squats and running.
Lots of running. Jack slept thru the entire ordeal as
mom sweated her butt off (hopefully, literally!) We
met 7 other babies and their moms today. Jack was
really interested in a baby named Miles (pictured below)
until Miles leaned in and chomped on Jack's cheek. No
harm, no foul since no teeth were involved. 60 seconds
of crying and the event was forgotten. We'll definitely
be back -- this is a weekly event -- because it was nice to
have some adult conversation, even if it centered on
baby food and teething. As an added bonus, there was
lots of breast feeding going on, so if you happen to be
in the Denver area and are looking for a free show, Wash
Park is the place to be weekday mornings! Whoopee!

Jack makes nice with Miles

Miles eats Jack. Jack cries. Miles laughs.

I am almost speechless...

Now, I know that I am almost never at a loss for words.
Today I am almost speechless. Just look at this kid?!
How did we get so lucky?
I will now ruin this beautiful moment by telling you that
within the hour Jack was an inconsolable screaming, teething
mess. Mommy was a mess too. I guess beauty really is fleeting...
Or, is that fame? Whatever. It's a great picture.