10 things that I am not allowed to do now that I am a mommy

Now, before anyone gets upset, this is my personal list. I am not saying that all mommies are not allowed to do these things. Just me. Also remember that this is all in fun (mostly) so you shouldn't take it so seriously!

1. Take a day off.
2. Get sick.
3. If you do get sick (Bad mommy, bad mommy!) you can't take any of the "good" medicine (NyQuil, Robitussin, TheraFlu, Codeine, etc.) Benadryl and prayer are your only options. **Applies only to breastfeeding mommies.
4. Watch a movie from beginning to end. Finish watching an entire t.v. show. Finish a crossword puzzle (you have forgotten all of your "big words") or finish a thought...wait, what was I just doing??! Oh yeah, the rest of the list...
   
5. Stay awake past 9 p.m.
   
6. Sleep through the night. Now that Jack sleeps through the night just fine, I can't seem to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.
7. Swear. I used to swear like a sailor. Now I insert the word "poop" where I used to be able to shout "F@$&!"
8. Wear anything that says "Dry Clean Only." (as a side note -- did you know that some baby clothes actually say this too? Who would be crazy enough to dress a baby in something that can't go in the washing machine??)
9. Leave Target without somehow ending up in the Baby department -- even if you don't need anything from the Baby department -- and buying something that you never knew you needed, wanted or would ever have the desire to buy.
   
10. Rinse, lather AND repeat. I really miss the repeat...