It's true. Jack is a monkey.

Don't read this if you happen to be a Creationist, but Jack IS a monkey. It was proven today at the Denver Zoo where he shrieked like a Spider Monkey for 90 minutes (happy shrieks, but shrieks nonetheless.) He also twisted and contorted himself around in the stroller until I couldn't really figure out how to untangle him from the harness without the manual or the Jaws of Life. Add this to the turning and standing up in the shopping cart and the sheer speed with which he scales the stairs (trees can't be far off) and I am now quite certain that he is not totally human. He also loves to hang upside-down. Could he be half bat and half monkey? You be the judge.

This is Jack zoning out.

You might think that this is Jack looking pensive. Or studious. But, no. Jack's zoning out. I know I'm not supposed to use the TV as a babysitter but once in a while it is absolutely mandatory to have five minutes to work on dinner. Or complete a phone call. Or pee. It didn't used to be as difficult to get things done when Jack was just a little lump of cuteness. Now, he is a crawling, standing, lunging, falling mess of a baby. Just today, we've been swimming in Sophie's water bowl, up and down the steps 26 times, inside the laundry basket, dangerously close to the litter box, backwards and standing up in a shopping cart and almost smashing head-first into the brick wall in our house. And it's only 1 p.m.!

Halloween Preview

OK, so the cat's out of the bag. Jack is going to be a fireman for Halloween. We had a trial run on the hat and the coat yesterday just to make sure that Jack wasn't going to flip out while wearing the noisy coat and to see what materials I am going to need to keep that "helmet" on his head for more than 3 minutes. All systems are go. Jack thinks the noisy coat is neat and especially likes it when you make an ear-splitting siren noise. At the suggestion of Aunt Jill, Sophie is going to be disguised as the world's largest dalmatian -- not sure exactly how to do this yet, but I've got time. I think I'll make Rob dress all in red to be the "fire truck" and I'll wrangle the "dalmatian" and make the ear-splitting siren sounds. This is a lot of work to get a few fun-size Snickers bars. What won't I do for candy...

In other news, Jack has taken 2 unassisted steps. This doesn't mean he is walking. This just means that his legs are finally catching up to his torso and arms. This is a nice change to his former motion of leading with his face. Jack's face has become a road map of our living room furniture. He has a scratch on his cheek from the coffee table, a red mark from the corner of the TV stand, a slight bump from the front door. Good thing that babies are rubbery and bounce (most of the time.) I'll keep you posted on any new developments.

New foods this week include a lasagna-like casserole and black beans. Not together. That would be mean. Both were big hits so we'll keep trying for more "adult" food and see how it goes.

Cute Halloween costumes aren't free and with the new additions to Jack's fall/winter wardrobe I have been looking sadly into my closet and wondering why Jack has more cute clothes than I do. I remedied the situation yesterday at Goodwill. Yes, Goodwill. Don't laugh. I got a pair of Levi's, 2 pairs of Old Navy pants, a Woolrich coat and an Ann Taylor Loft sweater for under $30. Try to beat that at a "normal" retail store.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to pay full-price again! It takes a little more time to find something that I like but it's definitely worth the $$$ saved.

Sad day for Rob

Today was the first day that Rob didn't get to see Jack at all. Not even for a minute. Jack was still sleeping when Rob left for work and he was down for the count when Rob got home. This is actually kind of odd since Jack didn't sleep at all today for me but he seems more than happy to sleep for Daddy -- even if Daddy isn't home yet. Rob is sad, but I have promised him that he will have lots of playtime opportunities this weekend and I will also gladly let him change all of the diapers this weekend in case he missed doing that too. Gearing up for Noni's visit next week when we will be getting 9 and 10 month photos taken (you'll just have to choose 2 poses and one can be for 9 months and the other for 10 months -- Mommy isn't so on the ball with the scheduling of portraits!), going out for cupcakes and a play date and maybe off to the Children's Museum. I'm not sure if Noni knows that we'll have something planned for every minute of every day but Jack and I will be running her legs off. It will be fun to see how she handles a much-more-mobile Jack. He was just starting to move around the last time she visited. Boy! Is she in for a surprise!

If Jack ran the kitchen...

If Jack ran the kitchen, this would be the standard grocery list:

1. Yogurt. Lots of it. Plain. No fruit.
2. Meatballs. Frozen. Full of salt and additives.
3. Toast. Not bread. Toast. Jack thinks that toast just comes like that.
4. Puffs. Sweet potato flavored. One canister for Jack and one for Sophie since Sophie steals them from Jack.
5. Popsicles. Small, slow-melting variety. Any flavor is fine. Red is best, since it stains the most and mysteriously is the stickiest!
6. Earth Baby Organics "Chicken Mango Risotto" jarred baby food. I'm not kidding. This is a flavor of baby food. And, Jack can't get enough of it!
7. Rice cakes. Plain, boring, no sodium, no flavor rice cakes.
8. Gerber Banana/Grape/Plum combo. Weird mix, but it's a classic around here.
9. Apple Carrot juice. Jack still can't get the hang of the sippy cup. He tries to eat the bottom of it and drops it on the floor a lot, but what he actually consumes he seems to like.
10. More yogurt. Can't ever have enough yogurt.
    

Harper and Jack go for a ride

Although Harper's mom swears it isn't so, I think that Jack looks like a deranged little old man in this photo. Harper is the lovely gal in the hoodie that is pushing Jack around in her cool wagon. Harper is an older woman, born in October, and is one of Jack's favorite friends in our playgroup. This photo was taken last Thursday after Strollercize in Washington Park. Luckily (or unluckily, as the case may be) I didn't have to attend the actual workout portion since Jack's nap ran late but we did make it just in time for the play time! There was much discussion about Halloween costumes -- of the 4 babies in attendance there will be a fireman, a monkey, a dinosaur and a fairy. Any guesses on what Jack will be? The only one I will rule out for you is the fairy. I'm not quite ready for gender-bending yet...

Jack's stats

I forgot to let you know that Jack's 9 month well-checkup was last week and we have some new stats for you. He is now a whopping 20 pounds (50th percentile) and 30 inches tall (92nd percentile.) In case you are just nodding and smiling right now, not really sure what all of the percentile mumbo jumbo is, don't feel bad! I had to ask too! It just means that out of 100 babies his age, Jack is heavier than 50 of them and taller than 92 of them. Remember when this kid was 4 pounds?? He's healthy as a horse and apparently eating like one or he wouldn't be growing so quickly. Yay baby!

Late breaking news! Last night, our boy slept from 6 pm until 4 am with nary a peep. After a quick (and very early) breakfast, he was back down until 7:15 am. Mommy, on the other hand, tried to go to bed at 8:30 pm and didn't let herself fall asleep until 1 am. Is there a Sleep Lady for mommies?? I'm really glad that I found that book. Not sure how long it will take me to relax enough to let myself sleep better, but at least my insomnia is my own fault and not Jack's!

Top 10 things that Sophie hears around the house these days

1. Don't lick the baby!
2. Don't step on the baby!
3. Get off the baby's blanket!
4. Get out of the baby's room!
5. Move it, Sophie!
6. Let's go to the park! (Sophie jumps up and wags her tail.) Oh, not you, Sophie. I meant Jack and Mommy!
7. Sophie? Why are you so huge?
8. Sophie! Don't eat those! Those are for Jack!
9. Sophie, go lay down!
10. Sophie, why are you so furry?!

Poor, poor Sophie. She tries so hard. She just loves to lick the baby and snuggle with the baby and knock the baby down. All 112 pounds of her. Our first guilt-reliever was to pass out rawhides and bones and treats like we pass out candy on Halloween. 12 pounds gained. No more treats. Sophie is sad. Things are looking up for her since Jack now loves to have her along on walks as his source of entertainment. Watch the doggie run really fast! Watch Mommy try to keep up! Watch Mommy try to keep the stroller upright. Funny, funny, funny!

Jack's Three Joys in Life

Jack's three joys in life:

1. Boobs
2. Swinging (at the playground -- not with other couples)
3. T.V. -- especially watching his beloved They Might Be Giants DVDs

It is a sad week at the Siders house as the DVD player has called it quits and there has been no vegging out for Jack. We remedied the situation today with a quick trip to Best Buy but Jack fell asleep on the way home so he will just have to wait for the big surprise. We had a lovely lunch at Qdoba where we learned that babies seem to love cilantro rice. The nice ladies behind the counter gave me a whole bowl of it (gratis!) when I explained this new revelation to her. I wonder what else I can get for free because Jack likes it and, as his spokesperson, I am required to ask for him. Jack really likes T.V. Do you think I can upgrade us to HD if I reason with the folks at the electronics store?

Be thankful for what you have...

Be thankful for the multitudes of photo downloads that you have been able to view thus far...
This is the best that I've been able to do lately since Jack won't sit still for more than 4 seconds at a time. He is now able to scoot up the stairs in under a minute and if you turn your head for a millisecond you can be assured that he is trying to scale them. Our only project this weekend is to install safety gates at the top and the bottom of the staircase so Mommy doesn't have a heart attack every time she hears a thud. Jack's other new fascinations this week? Sophie's water bowl, the front loading washing machine that is at chest level for him since it is part of a stackable unit, biting noses (anyone's will do) and tooth brushing. That's right. Tooth brushing. I know he only has two of them but all of the books try to scare the crap out of parents by warning them to brush ASAP or your child will immediately get tooth decay and be physically disfigured for life when his baby teeth fall out. We are also warned to get to the dentist before his first birthday. That ought to be fun...I can't even keep him still long enough to change a diaper! I'd like to see them try to strap him into a reclining dental chair. Maybe if they let him watch T.V.???

Jack. In the box.

Jack. In the box. How clever! Rob thought of it. I am no longer able to think of witty and clever things to say or write since I have had 3 hours of good sleep since beginning this new, awesome phase of parenting -- crying it out. We have turned to our new guru -- The Sleep Lady -- to assist us with this monumental task. Apparently, we have been doing everything wrong.
Our major failures?

1. Putting Jack in his crib dead asleep rather than "drowsy but awake."
2. Not introducing Jack to a "lovey" sooner. A lovey is anything soft and cuddly that can be a sleep friend.
3. Not letting Jack learn how to fall asleep on his own. I'm not even good at this! How can I expect a 9-month old to learn how to do this if his 36-year old Mommy can't figure it out. Do they make Baby Ambien?
   
4. Nursing to sleep. Bad, bad Mommy!
5. Running to Jack whenever he makes a tiny peep, squawk or guttural moan instead of waiting for a moment to see if he will go back to sleep on his own. HA! Fat chance! (See #3.)

Okay. So now that we realize that we are big, fat failures in this department we are following The Sleep Lady's prescription to the letter. Much to my dismay, the prescription does not come in a bottle. Rob and I are taking shifts sleeping in a chair in Jack's room so we can be be in his face as soon as he wakes up to ssh him back to sleep. Touching is allowed (briefly). Nursing, rocking, bouncing, singing and all of our other tried and true methods are not. First night had me in tears for 2 hours. Jack cried for just under an hour. Rob rejoiced and exalted the Sleep Lady's virtues. Jack only woke up once in the night and slept until 6:30 a.m. Hallelujah! I can see light at the end of the tunnel. It's a faint light and it's a long tunnel, but I can see it if I squint.

8 more nights of this. Sounds like Hannukah. Shouldn't I get a present for every day of this that I survive?

Child Welfare might be looking for me...

I think that Child Welfare might be looking for me -- just this week, Jack has cracked his forehead on the corner of his dresser, tumbled on a tile floor at the mall (no visible marks or bruises), banged his upper lip into the edge of the coffee table and nearly gone sailing off of the changing table. The kid is going to be a walking bruise before he can actually walk! He seems to have no concept of spatial relations, no recollection that he needs to always have one arm on something to steady himself and no memory of things that "go bonk." He refuses to let me put ice on anything that is swelling and doesn't seem to hear the word "no." I think I'll be off to the Office Max to purchase an extra-large roll of bubble wrap to either protect him or our stuff. Jack's smaller. He will be easier to wrap!

Do you want to know what time it is?

Do you want to know what time it is? Well, if you are at our house and it is after 8:00 pm. and Jack is crying then you can be pretty sure that it is 5 minutes after the hour. Every hour. Since our return from Ohio -- where Jack slept like an angel, mind you -- Jack has been waking up at 8:05, 9:05, 10:05 -- you get the drift. It seems that somewhere between learning how to crawl and learning how to stand up in his crib that Jack forgot how to get himself back to sleep. Or, perhaps he never really knew how to do this and he was just less mobile so he didn't wake up as much. Whichever the reason, it led me to Barnes and Noble on Friday to purchase 2 books -- The Ferber classic "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" and "The Sleep Lady's" book that promised me a happy, sleeping child in just 14 days. Sigh. Rob and I are each reading one book and then giving each other a book report while we decide what to do. We are both adamantly against "crying it out" even if that is really, truly, probably the fastest way to go. But, seeing as I can't stand to hear Jack cry for more than 15 seconds at a time, unless Rob will let me check into a hotel while he attempts this method -- no matter how long it takes -- I don't think this will be our first option. Whichever way we decide to go, we'll be starting it next week after we have all of the information we need (and maybe some Valium for Mommy and some gin for Daddy...) and this also gives us a little time to harden our hearts. I know that sleep is SO important for Jack but I wish that the doctors had stressed just how important it was to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. At least we're not alone -- there wouldn't be 17 books on the bookstore shelf about baby sleep issues if we were the only parents in the world with a freakish baby that doesn't like to sleep thru the night. We'll keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Rob adds:
What?! Where was I when the vote took place?

I'm not opposed to letting Jack cry it out. If it means I can sleep again in three or four days --- rather than in two weeks! --- I'm adamantly in favor of it!

I want a recount! Where is my vote?! Justice now!! If I had more people I'd organize a march. Maybe shout at you at your town hall meeting.

Naps are for babies...

Jack, today, says "Naps are for babies."

Minimal nap this morning before the fun began and then total nap refusal until we made the trek to Daddy's office for a visit and hopefully for some exhausting crawling down the long office hallways. Thankfully, Rob left a little early tonight so he is now in Jack's room with Jack and via the baby monitor I can hear both of them snoozing soundly. Either I'm too interesting, Rob is too boring or Jack just likes napping with his dad. Whatever the reason, it gives me a chance to catch everyone up on our comings and goings of the past 2 weeks.