Jack's sweet ride

Check out Jack's sweet new ride --
courtesy of Noni. As reported Wednesday,
Jack crawled for almost one week and
now has decided that he needs to get
from Point A to Point B much faster. His
little car morphs into a "walking assistant,"
kind of like a shopping cart with a gear
shift. It has no satellite radio, no heated
seats, no tinted windows, but the gas is
very easy on the pocketbook. The wheels
don't lock, so we've got to park it against
the wall so that Jack doesn't have his first
moving violation (we've had a few close
calls.) We might be tempting fate since the
box said it was for 9 months and up. Maybe
we are just reckless parents? Heck -- we
don't even have him insured yet!

Nothing beats a Noni

Nothing beats a Noni for 3 days of shopping and
playing...Jack probably could have done without all
of the shopping but I think he might have known it
was all for him -- makes the unbearable a little more
bearable, don't you think? Noni lucked out because
Strollercize was rained out today and I was planning on
making her sweat a little bit. Jack (for the most part)
has been a very good host. Very little biting or spitting
(sounds like a girl fight when I put it like that) and lots
of smiles to go around. Minus the one near heart
attack that Rob almost gave her when he pretended to
lob Jack at her from across the room, I think the visit
is going well!

Crawling is for babies

So, we got about 3 days of crawling and now Jack
is pulling himself up on anything and everything.
The coffee table, the dog, my t-shirt, whatever.
I'm just not prepared for this yet. I thought I would
have at least a month or two to get used to the idea
of him scooting around before he got the idea into
his head that standing and walking were WAAAAY
more fun than kneeling on the ground. Along with
his new found obsession comes more bumps and
bruises and his face has met the carpet more times
this weekend than I would care to report. I'm not
sure how much longer "mommy kisses" will be the
appropriate first aid for Jack's escapades...
In other news, Jack's Noni (Grandma Suzanne)
arrived today (late flying in due to imaginary
thunderstorms) and won't be able to fill her hug
quota until tomorrow morning since Jack had eaten,
soaked in the tub and went down for the count at 7.
Poor Noni.

Well, it's about time...

Jack decided to crawl forwards today. Enough said.

Things heard around our house this week

"No, Jack, don't touch the poop."
"Babies don't like chocolate...I saw it on the news."
"Jack, is that book delicious?"
"Jack, don't eat her hair."
"Jack, don't sit on Harper's face."
"Jack, be nice to mommy."
"Jack, please be nice to mommy."
"Can you go to one of your mommy sites and find
out how to care for uncircumcised penises? I'm
afraid of what I might find if I just Google washing
penises." (said by Rob to Amy.)

"I found my thrill..."

"...on Blueberry Hill."

This is what happens when sleepy babies eat
blueberries. Actually, this might happen to
Jack no matter what his tired-o-meter reads.
The bath water turned blue after this meal.

New foods to add to the favorite column this
week: yogurt, blueberries, plums and rice cakes.
Yep. Rice cakes. Bleech! I guess there's no
accounting for taste. It is kind of cute to watch
him hold them by himself and navigate it towards
his mouth. He just looks so proud when he gets
it right (which isn't too often.)

Sleeping like a log after a big day of baby play.

Happy happy Sunday. It was a really good one
around here. Hope yours was too!

Babies, babies. Lots of babies.

pictured above: Finnegan, Chloe and Jack
(Jack's the one in the foreground. That's the
FRONT for those of you that don't know what
"foreground" means...)


Meet and Greet Potluck today. 10 babies plus
19 parents plus lots of food (no real entrees...
just snacks and drinks since we didn't really plan
this all out very well) equals lots of fun. So nice
to get the dads involved in one of our play dates.
Food and beer is a great incentive for them! We
met in Wash Park and thought we might get
washed out but the weather cooperated and lots
of fun was had by all. Jack won a pair of girlie
pink shoes that were kindly donated by one of
our group's sponsors. We'll be exchanging them
at the store but are grateful to have won something!
Rob did a great job of mingling with the other dads
and it was actually his first time to see Jack playing
with other babies so that was a big treat. Jack
had his teething biscuits stolen right out of his
mouth by a young vixen named Harper and most of
his toys were stolen by Finnegan, but Jack was a
good sport nonetheless. (Jack is sounding more and
more like a "normal" name after reading this, huh?!)
Jack didn't fuss once -- even though we all stayed WAY
past nap time. No activities planned for tomorrow so
we'll regroup and get ready for our big week!

This is what Jack does best...

If there were a competition for spitting -- and
I'm sure there is -- Jack would win. It's not
just raspberries anymore...this kid can get some
real distance now! He can't crawl forward, he
can't seem to realize that it's okay to sleep on his
tummy and he can't chew very well, but he sure
can spit!
In other news, Jack hates cottage cheese. So, if
there was any doubt before, he is really and truly
my son. Much to Rob's dismay, Jack's new favorite
food is yogurt. Plain, sour-tasting yogurt. Rob is
saddened. Also, chicken was a disaster. I am
assuming that Jack would rather be a vegetarian
than to ever let us spoon feed him pureed chicken
breast. Even we were disgusted by this -- have you
ever seen pureed chicken?
We're working hard on saying "mommy" this week...
and by we, I mean me. Jack's favorite syllable is
"mmmmm" and he says it all of the time so it seems
to be an easy jump. I could be imagining it, but I think
he said "cat" earlier this week. Or, it could be him
knocking the wind out of himself as he lunged forward
with his entire body trying to grab for the cat. Now that
I think about it, it sounded more like "Kaaaaack!" Is
that close enough??!

How big is Jack?

"SO BIG!"

If you've ever seen a Pack 'n' Play, that is what
Jack is laying in. He covers the full width and
then some...
Such a big kid!

I don't have an exact height for you since he
wriggles around too much for me to measure him
accurately.

Things heard around our house this week -- Part Deux

"Where is all of this poop coming from?"
"Jack, don't bite the cat's tail."
"Jack, please fall asleep. Please fall asleep. See?
Mommy is falling asleep....it's easy!"
"Nobody bit Jack today!"
"No, Rob's staying home while I go to the party.
I think there are a few agencies that might be
interested if we just crate Jack for the evening so
we can both come."
"Aarrgh! Why are you ringing???" (shouted at the phone
when Jack was almost asleep)
"How about we just put you in the washing machine too?"
(said to Jack after an extremely messy diaper)
"Are you stuck under the couch again?"

The Butterfly Pavillion is for the birds...

Now, before anyone gets on my case about
how cool the Denver Butterfly Pavillion is,
please read the entire post before you judge...

We met 10 other moms and babies at the
Butterfly Pavillion this morning. It was great
to see some moms and babies that we
already know and met some others too! That
was the good part of the day...

If you want to check it out, here is the link:
http://www.butterflies.org/

It was a little pricey -- even with our group
discount and there really aren't that many
exhibits. I'm sure that when Jack is 4 he will
beg to come here because there are LOTS of
cockroaches from all over the world and they
will even let you pet a tarantula. The spider
wrangler was willing to let Jack touch the
tarantula -- she even emphatically reminded me
that "Rosie" was very tame, but with Jack's penchant
for grabbing our own pets I didn't want to take any
chances so we passed.

The only really cool part is the open air conservatory
where lots and lots of butterflies are flying around, but
Jack didn't really notice them, even with my refrain of
"Do you see the pretty butterfly, Jack?" He was, however,
very interested in tearing leaves off of the tropical plants
and one fairly large piece ended up in his mouth and he
bit me as I was trying to extract it.
So much for appreciating nature...

Also, it was about 300 degrees in there because butterflies
don't come from places like Minnesota. Jack's favorite part
of the whole outing was the exit room that has mirrored walls
so you can check for "butterfly hitchhikers." We had a rousing
game of "Do you see the baby?" and we zoomed thru the gift
shop and were on our way.

For $6 I expected a little more. I'm thinking that for $3,
I can show guests an ant hill in our back yard, some local
foliage and some bees and then, maybe, I won't have to work
anymore. I'll keep working on my marketing plan and keep
you posted.

Top 10 reasons I'm a good mommy

10. I hardly ever want to throw up when changing a
diaper.
9. I am the perfect amount of "squishy" for napping
upon.
8. Boobs beat the bottle ANY day (in Jack's opinion.)
7. I can make almost any animal noise (and for the
sounds I don't know...I make them up!)
6. I don't lie to Jack at the zoo -- i.e. other parents
will say things like "Yep -- that's an ostrich, all right!"
I check the signs and can honestly report that it's
an EMU, where it's from and what it eats.
5. I taste all of the baby food before Jack does. If I
wouldn't eat it, how can I expect him to?!
4. I'm starting to think that farts are funny.
3. I am an advocate for my son -- and by advocate, I
mean that I am a maniac that yells at medical
personnel when they are not moving fast enough
for Jack's taste (or mine, for that matter.)
2. I do things I do not want to do to make Jack
happy -- i.e. Peek-a-boo 100 times in a row, sing
"5 Little Ducks" 10 times in a row.
1. I have not once-- in 7 months and 2 weeks -- hunted
for a Kleenex in my purse and spit on it to clean off
Jack's face. Enough said.

Careful...it's addictive...

A baby's laugh is just like crack cocaine. Once you
get it, you just need more and more and more. You
become a crazed lunatic...trying to figure out what
you did to make it happen and how to make it happen
again. Luckily, Jack is pretty easy. Put a box on your
head. Bounce him on the bed. Show him his reflection
in the mirror. Stick out your tongue. He's an easy
crowd. I haven't even had to try out my best material
yet. Watch it once. You'll be hooked!

Why teething toys are awesome. And, why they are not.

So, these icy toys that are meant to soothe Jack's gums
are great for awhile. Then, they turn his cheeks red
and he can't feel his tongue anymore so he bites on it
and he drools. Leaks like a sieve. There are no longer
any drought restrictions in the city of Denver because
of Jack's drool production. Also, he thinks it is a
fabulous game to throw them on the floor and wait for
someone (me) to pick it up. Now, I'm not going to lie --
as much as I would like for Jack to grow up in a germ-
free, spotless environment, it is just not possible.
Especially with a big dog and a little cat. For the first
few days I was running to the kitchen to wash and
disinfect all of the toys off before giving them back to
him. Each and every time. That's A LOT of washing.
Jack throws toys often. That practice then deteriorated
into just rinsing toys with water. Maybe warm, maybe not.
Depends on my mood.
Now, I am afraid to admit that if he's lucky, I might just
blow on the toy or shake it a little to get rid of the
excess pet hair. Does this make me a bad mother? Nope.
Just a realistic one. Germs happen, deal with it!

Jack contemplates crawling...and other things.

So Jack is 7 months and 1 week old now. 2 bottom
teeth. Very sharp. Can probably draw blood if he
wanted to. He can crawl backwards and in a circle but
not forwards yet. He can, however, launch himself in
a forward motion but this is only recommended when
on a bed. Floors are not good for face plants! Wild Man
Jack loves to dance and bounce and chew on everything.
He thinks TV is the most amazing thing that he has ever
seen (Mom only lets him watch for 5-10 minutes at a time
while his manicure and pedicure are taking place. PBS only.
I promise! No Barney!) Bath time is cool especially when his
rubber duck is invited for fun but naps are apparently
only for babies. Jack has stated that he is no longer a
baby, therefore, no naps. I miss naps.

Things heard around our house this week

"Hey Rob -- did you know that boogers float?"
"I think that was a poop explosion!"
"Please don't eat the cat."
"No, Jack, you can't pick mommy's nose."
"Please be nice to the book, Jack."
"Yay! More pictures from Shutterfly!"
"Jack, please don't spit on him."
"Jack, give mommy the spoon. Give mommy the spoon.
Please give mommy the spoon. Ok, keep the spoon."

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought I would
ever utter any of these phrases. If this is what I am now
reduced to -- God help us all.

This is why Amy shouldn't be allowed in baby stores

This is the alligator that Jack drooled on while we
were shopping for a stroller so I felt compelled
to buy it. Thankfully, it was only $6 at a resale shop.
He thought it was the most amazing toy he had ever seen
for the 3 minute car ride from this store to the evil Babies
'R' Us store. Then, he promptly threw it on the floor of
the backseat. It has not been touched since.
At least mommy thinks it's pretty!

Now, back to the evil, evil Babies 'R' Us. First, never
trust a store with a backwards letter in its name. Second,
never trust a tired mommy with a tired baby in tow to
make wise decisions in a baby superstore. We were
under strict instructions to purchase only an inexpensive
umbrella stroller for our upcoming vacation extravaganza
in lovely Toledo, Ohio. We tested out 8 strollers. This
might sound like a lot to the uninitiated, but there were over
40 to choose from so I thought that I was being judicious.
Jack liked the $299 model. He thought that it fit his butt
nicely and admired the many accessories that were included.
He was also impressed with the shiny wheels and the 4 cup
holders. Mom liked the $29 model. Mom won. The evil baby
superstore spirits would not let me out of their clutches
without buying some detergent, a sippy cup that says "Jack"
on it, a new swaddle blanket and a Fisher Price set of blocks.
As I explained it to Rob when we got home, I actually saved
us money by buying those other "not on the list" items because
I could have gotten the $299 stroller and then where would we be?!
Also, I had a coupon.
That's mommy math. Gotta love it!

This is why a boy needs his dad...

See? This is why a boy needs his dad. I would NEVER do this! Rob and I play totally differently with Jack. I'm more of a smother-him-with-kisses, snuggle-up and read a book parent while Rob is a throw-him-up-in-the-air, bounce-him-all-over kind of guy. I'm sure I will get to the point where Jack runs in the house says "I hurt myself" and instead of freaking out I ask him "Are you bleeding?" "How much?" or "Did you lose an entire limb?" and that's that, but, for now, I prefer to keep him closer to the ground. Bookbabies at the library tomorrow morning then it's off for my last day at Dillard's. Not even remotely sad about it. I feel so jerked around by that company at this point in time that I seriously hope that you all go out to Macy's or Nordstrom's this weekend and buy yourselves something nice...New job starts on the 14th and I'll report on that as it gets closer. Second tooth coming in and MAN, can this kid bite! I'm pretty sure he will draw blood if we let him. Still no movement (pardon the pun) on the crawling front. Still moving backwards -- he's just faster now. He's also doing a forward lunging motion that always ends in a face plant so that maneuver is only allowed on our bed. Make sure you check out his super-smiley new photos from Sears on the 3rd, and let me know if you don't have the link!

What's July 4 without fireworks??

So, how do you celebrate the 4th of July when your kid
goes to bed at 7:30 p.m.? You go to the park and let
him watch his mom and dad eat fried chicken, that's what!
We decided against keeping Jack up to watch fireworks. It's
taken us too long to get a bedtime routine set up to goof
it up now. We all went to Wash Park for lunch and Jack
had his first turn on the swings. Not sure what he thought
of it -- he didn't smile but he didn't cry, so I guess that's a
good sign! Hung out with the ducks on the lake and then
home for a good nap. Totally slept thru all of the pomp
and circumstance at 10 p.m. but was up all night after that
waiting for his new tooth to make an appearance. As soon as it
arrives, it's steak and corn on the cob for everyone!
Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Rollin' Wit Da Homies...

Jack was rolling with his homies today as we went to
Wash Park for Strollercize this morning. What I
thought was going to be a mommy gabfest turned into
an actual workout with lunges and squats and running.
Lots of running. Jack slept thru the entire ordeal as
mom sweated her butt off (hopefully, literally!) We
met 7 other babies and their moms today. Jack was
really interested in a baby named Miles (pictured below)
until Miles leaned in and chomped on Jack's cheek. No
harm, no foul since no teeth were involved. 60 seconds
of crying and the event was forgotten. We'll definitely
be back -- this is a weekly event -- because it was nice to
have some adult conversation, even if it centered on
baby food and teething. As an added bonus, there was
lots of breast feeding going on, so if you happen to be
in the Denver area and are looking for a free show, Wash
Park is the place to be weekday mornings! Whoopee!

Jack makes nice with Miles

Miles eats Jack. Jack cries. Miles laughs.

I am almost speechless...

Now, I know that I am almost never at a loss for words.
Today I am almost speechless. Just look at this kid?!
How did we get so lucky?
I will now ruin this beautiful moment by telling you that
within the hour Jack was an inconsolable screaming, teething
mess. Mommy was a mess too. I guess beauty really is fleeting...
Or, is that fame? Whatever. It's a great picture.