10 Things that Jack couldn't say this week (but he wanted to...)

Since Jack can only say one word right now -- "Mama" -- I have designated myself as his translator/spokesperson. These are the Top 10 Things that Jack wanted to say this week (but couldn't.)

1. "Naps are for babies. I'm not a baby, therefore I do not have to nap. End of story."
2. "Read this book to me one more time. Okay, two more times. What I really mean is: read this book to me until I deem it appropriate for you to stop. I don't care if you know this book backwards and forwards, I continue to find subtle nuances in the text each and every time we read it."
3. " Yogurt is the only food that I really need to eat. Toss in some milk once in a while and I'm good to go. Really. No other food preparation is necessary. I want to make this as easy on you as possible, Mom!"
4. " Lucy (the cat) really loves it when I pull on her tail. She told me. Really. No kidding. Do you doubt me? Can you talk to animals? I didn't think so..."
5. "This car seat sucks. Why am I sitting backwards. You're not sitting backwards..."
6. "Why are you putting all of these clothes on me? I don't need to wear 3 layers....and, no, wait, socks? Not the socks. You know that I hate the socks. Don't you know by now that I will just pull those things off the second you put me down on the floor?! Why don't you ever learn, Mommy?"
7. "Why do you keep putting a bowl of water on the floor if I can't play in it? I don't care if it is technically for the dog...it's in my path and I'm going to splash in it. If you don't like it, move the bowl!"
8. "Mommy, don't you know that the more you childproof the house, the smarter I get? Every device you install challenges me to find new and more exciting (and dangerous) things to climb on, climb in or pull up on. I can not be stopped!"
9. "Why won't you just let me do what I want? If I really want to poke my fingers into the electrical outlet or to slam my fingers in a drawer or to fall down the steps, I'm going to find a way to do it. You can't outsmart me. I am invincible! " (Insert evil, menacing laugh here.)
10. "Put that F@#$&%& camera away!"