Merry Christmas, Jack

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

So put your hands in the ayer...

Here's to many more happy birthdays, Kiddo.

Mommies get $15 haircuts while babies wear $50 shoes

I'm not complaining. this is one of the best haircuts that I have ever gotten -- and it was only $15! True, there was no awesome shampoo, no aromatherapy, no scalp and neck massage, but it was cheap and fast and not so bad at all. At least this is an easy "mommy-do" that doesn't require a scrunchie.

Good week around here so far -- I started my new job yesterday. I'm working as the personal assistant to the President of Olavie Skincare -- actually, he is the founder, owner and the head of both the marketing and sales departments but I think I'm going to like it. I'm not sure what I'll be doing on a day-to-day basis but it should average 20 hours per week and I can work some of the time from home. Ideal! You can check out his/our wares at www.olavie.com.

My Denver Health/CDC interviewer position will be complete on December 11 so this new job is a big weight off of all of our shoulders. Especially Jack's. He can't handle too much pressure...

Gearing up for a low-key Thanksgiving. We've got a lot of unfinished projects around here that I would like to have done by Party Day (December 6.) Not sure if we will get to all of them but if everyone continues to RSVP "Yes," no one will be able to see any of the house because there will be too many people in here! I think I went a little overboard on the guest list. I just never thought in a million years that everyone would be able to come...

Oh well. The more the merrier, right? With so many people flying in for this soiree I am hoping that Jack can manage to stay awake for at least some of his own birthday party. It would be pretty sad to wake him up from a nice cozy nap, only to shove a big cake in his face and expect him to perform for all of us. Now that I re-read that it gets me thinking. Why doesn't anyone ever wake me up with a big cake??

The 5 Most Useless Baby Gifts

Again, if you happened to give me one of these gifts last year, don't feel bad. We got LOTS of silly gifts. These were just some of the more ridiculous:

1. Baby wipe warmer: if your baby is already such a princess that she can't handle a cool or room temperature wipe you should return her immediately to your birthing center or hospital and ask for an exchange. The baby you took home is obviously too high maintenance...
2. Bottle warmer: Here's an idea -- run some hot water straight from the tap into a Tupperware or glass jar. $20 saved.
3. Baby shoes: Is your newborn walking yet? If so, call the National Enquirer. If not, socks are fine for 1o or 11 more months.
4. Bottle/cup sterilizer: Do you have a dishwasher? Use the top rack. Better yet, buy a $3 bottle brush and call it a day. Use the $50 you just saved to buy your kid a savings bond.
5. Peepee Teepees: Seriously? These are cute little party hats for your son's penis designed to keep him from peeing all over you. This gift seems like it would actually work, but for $12 it's much easier to use a wipe (not a warm one...) or a cloth diaper.

I'm sure that I'll come up with a much more extensive list. Give me time. I'll also make a list of the most awesome gifts that a new mommy can receive -- the gifts for which the thank you note is extremely heart-felt and not just a carbon copy of the other 3000 thank you notes she is writing. Believe me, you can tell the difference...

10 Things I wish I knew then that I know now

Photo taken 11/20/2008. 18 days before Jack's birth. The room wasn't finished, the birth plan wasn't written, I hadn't even had a baby shower yet! We were still finishing the install of our new wood flooring and I was just starting to think about what to pack in the bag for the hospital. A person can learn a lot in just one year. Here are some of the most important:

1. Elastic maternity jeans rule. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. If I could get away with wearing them now, I would.
2. Babies don't care what their rooms look like. They can only see 12 inches in front of them. It's okay if the nursery isn't perfect, doesn't look like a magazine shoot and might not be complete. There's always time. And, even if there isn't time, you will be spending most of your nursery time in the dark.
3. These are my top 5 useless baby gifts (in no particular order.) If you gave me one of them I don't mean to offend you, I just mean to educate others! Baby wipe warmer, bottle warmer, Peepee Teepees, baby shoes and bottle/cup sterilizers. More on this in a later post.
4. It is totally okay to nap when the baby naps. Even if the baby naps every 30 minutes.
   
5. Baby showers are boring for anyone that isn't the mommy-to-be. To all future shower hosts: plan something really fun for all guests and minimize the opening of gifts. Everyone will thank you for it. Except maybe the mommy, but she's already hormonal and cranky anyways...
6. DO NOT spend more than $10 on your baby's "going home" outfit. Your child will wear this precious garment for exactly 12 minutes or 3.4 miles (the distance from the hospital to your house) and then will promptly spit up and ruin it. Put your baby in a cute pair of PJs and call it a day.
   
7. You can never have enough time or enough money to have a baby. If these are two major reasons for waiting to procreate, find 2 better reasons. Try improving your relationship/marriage or training your dog not to jump, bark or lick. Now those are the really important things to work on!
8. Don't try to hang out with other people's babies before your little angel arrives. You might think this is going to be great practice, but you will either get totally freaked out and wish you had never gotten yourself into this or you will learn tricks that only work on that particular baby and you will be totally discouraged when they don't work on yours.
9. Be nice to nurses. In particular, the overnight shift workers (would you want to help someone pee at 3 a.m.?) and ANY NICU nurse. Also important? Your anesthesiologist -- he/she can and will be your best friend.
10. Don't listen to all of the great things that other moms and dads say about their babies. Most likely, they are only trying to make themselves feel better about their child that won't sleep, won't eat, won't stop crying, etc. by bragging about the one thing their kid does well. Their lives are just as difficult as yours. It's just different. And that's okay.
    

Last year -- to the day!

This photo was taken last year, November 20, 2008, while Gdad (Jack's Grandpa, my dad -- it's his moniker choice!) was visiting to help finish up Jack's room. If I remember correctly, Gdad put together and took apart the crib twice thinking there was no instruction manual, only to learn that it was printed on the crib's bottom when he was almost done. The crib turned out beautifully no matter how long it took to get it right!
It's amazing how much can happen in just 365 days...

It's 2:50 p.m.

It's 2:50 p.m. Jack sleeps. Yippee. I'm too drowsy to celebrate right now. I could use a nap too, but I have to leave for work in less than one hour. A mother's work is never done. Sleep tight, Jack!

10 Things that Jack does instead of napping

This is sweet little Jack. It is 2:17 p.m. Sweet little Jack should be napping. Instead, sweet little Jack is:

1. Screaming at the top of his lungs as if someone is poking him with a sharp stick.
2. Banging his hands on the top of his bookcase SO hard that the baby monitor shakes and it sounds like an earthquake is occurring right in his room.
3. Sniffling so pitifully that even the hardest of hearts (think Grinch) would be melting.
4. Luring mommy in by launching his beloved fuzzy seahorse over the crib rails and then screaming because he has nothing to snuggle with. By the way, over the monitor this action sounds like Jack has tumbled head first onto the floor and I fall for it every time.
   
5. When mommy finally succumbs -- snuggles close, smiles at mommy for saving his life and then proceeds to bite mommy.
6. Laughs at mommy when she says "NO!" and then, once sensing that she might be serious, begins to cry.
7. Excess snot from crying leads to nose wiping which brings more tears, more snot and more Kleenex (are you sensing a pattern here?)
8. Once calm, nurses for a few seconds, appears to be ready for sleep but then eyes pop open 3 inches from the crib mattress.
9. Flails uncontrollably from one side of crib to the other as mommy leaves the room.
10. Re-launches seahorse, squawks like a cat in heat, which leads mommy to the "secret" cabinet where the gin is stored...

2:23 p.m. Jack is still crying. Publishing this blog post then going downstairs for Round 3. Wish me luck!

Jack's big day in the snow

Jack decided yesterday that snow is not so bad after all...
A cool new sled made all of the difference! We got about 10 minutes of racing around the front yard before Rob took a turn a little too fast and Jack face planted in the snow...that wouldn't have been so bad except when we got him out of the sled I decided to get a few more beauty shots with the camera and I plopped him down in the snow and then he started to cry. I'm not sure if this makes me a bad mommy, but I kept clicking the shutter to make sure that I got enough photos before a total meltdown. To my credit, the photos turned out just fine and I then scooped him up to get him inside to warm up. To me, that's the best part of all of this cold weather -- I get a lot of extra snuggle time with Jack, curled up under a pile of blankets.
Happiness is...

Jack learns how to "spoon"

We've been working on this for awhile but it's taken a lot of perseverance on our part and a lot of floor mopping (and dog licking) to get it right! I'm still waiting for Jack to learn how to use the spoon as a catapult to splat his food into my face but I'm sure that will come soon enough. Jack still needs some practice so that every meal doesn't take 45 minutes but we're very proud and thought we would share some footage with you. I know you'll find the video incredibly gripping!

Favorite foods continue to be yogurt, toast, any sort of crunchy puff or cracker, black beans (the spicier the better) and sweet potatoes. Grilled ham (like on a breakfast platter) is a new favorite along with vanilla cookies from Earth's Best. These are delicious, by the way, if you happen to be looking for a new treat! We're still trying out textures -- Jack doesn't seem to be a big fan of anything that isn't easily mushed -- but his likes and dislikes can change like the weather. I thought that his new tooth acquisition (we're up to 8 now) would widen his options but he seems to be a creature of habit.

Never mind the coffee filter on Jack's head. Rob needs some entertainment sometimes and it doesn't take much to make him happy...

Reflections on our busiest year ever...

There are two pages in Jack's baby book where Rob and I can each write a letter to Jack. Both pages are empty. I have started writing a letter about 20 times but I just haven't seemed to be able to finish one. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or the fact that I have lost all of my "big words" by spending my days with someone who doesn't speak, but I need to buckle down and cross this project off my to-do list. I'll start here with another of my famous Top 10 lists to get my brain cells firing again.

Top 10 ways my life has changed since Jack joined our family

1. I can now get ready for the day in 15 minutes -- flat!
2. I have left the house with vomit in my hair, spit up on my clothes and drool on my face more times than I can count. This is a huge change from my former self who wouldn't go to the grocery store without lipstick.
3. I have taken more pictures this year than I have ever taken in my entire life. I have paid Shutterfly to print up 99% of them. I have 6 photo albums of our family pre-Jack (17 years) and 5 photo albums of our family post-Jack. I don't know if this is sad or funny...
   
4. My entire "cool" music collection is gathering dust but I now know all of the words to "Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush," "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Rock-a-bye Baby" and "Five Little Monkeys (Jumping on the Bed)."
5. I no longer have cable TV. I used to love TV. A lot. Now, I watch more Sesame Street than Jack does. I am also asleep most nights before the prime time shows are over. Sometimes before they even start...
   
6. I now have an entirely new group of friends. Some of my old friends (sans kids) just don't get it, others have moved away and the rest of them want to stay out past my bedtime.
   
7. Rob and I used to have long, lingering dinners during which we talked about anything and everything for hours. Now, I eat a sandwich standing up while Rob feeds Jack his dinner and tries to eat his own sandwich in between Jack's bites of pureed sweet potatoes and yogurt.
8. I don't work anymore. And by that, I mean that I don't get paid anymore.
9. I haven't seen the inside of a gym, a movie theater or a "real" restaurant in 11 months. That's got to change!
10. Even through the spit up and the lack of sleep and the tears and heartbreak of leaving Jack at the hospital for almost 4 weeks, this has been the busiest, most exciting and most wonderful year of my life. I wouldn't change a thing and I can't imagine life without him.

Things we have done to baby proof our home...

Here is a list of things we have done to baby proof our home and another list of safety gear that I refuse to buy even if the books, magazines and experts tell me that I have to...

1. Gates at the top and the bottom of the stairs. Jack holds onto the bottom one (see photo) and shakes it so hard that I am afraid that he will pull the entire gate out of the wall. Maybe I should buy him a small, tin sippy cup to bang on the bars?
2. Cushioned corners for the coffee table, TV stand and CD holder. Jack likes to bite on them. Rob has me worried that Jack will now bite off and choke on the very things that are supposed to be keeping him "safe."
   
3. Safety covers for every outlet in the house. Jack never cared about the outlets until I "decorated" them. Now they are a baby magnet! For me, they are just a pain in the ass. I spend a lot of time taking them out to vacuum or to dry my hair. Safety? Yes. Convenience? No.
4. Drawer and cabinet locks. For every drawer and cabinet. I now spend approximately 1 hour per week unlocking the safety locks to get anything out in the kitchen or the bathroom. Big time waster.

Safety items I won't be purchasing (even if it puts me on the "bad mommy" list):

1. Toilet seat lock. The door is always shut to keep Sophie from eating cat litter. Problem solved. $30 savings.
   
2. Spout cover for the bathtub. Jack never bathes alone. $10 savings.
3. Baby spoons that change colors to show you that the food is too hot. I have a better idea: Taste the food yourself! $5 savings.
4. Door knob covers. If these are anything like the outlet covers, Jack will become obsessed with doorknobs instead of ignoring them like he does now. He can't even reach the doorknobs yet! $20 savings (we have a lot of doors.)
5. Washer/dryer locks. If I am such a lousy parent that I somehow don't notice that Jack has been missing long enough to have locked himself in the washing machine then I should probably re-evaluate my parenting skills. $20 savings.

I am sure that there is a huge list of safety gear that I am forgetting to mention or that I have completely blocked out of my mind. Hopefully we have done our best to make our home a safe place for Jack to play, to eat, to bathe and to sleep and that will just have to be good enough. And, if not, I just saved $85 that I can use to buy some more outlet covers.

Remember this sweet little boy?

So do you remember this sweet, angelic, perfect baby? Well, while nursing this afternoon he bit me so hard that I bled. So much for sweet, angelic and perfect... I have said in the past that I would do anything for this little boy but I may have spoken too soon. The books say that you are never to cry out in pain if this happens because it could frighten your child so much that it brings on a hunger strike. 30 minutes ago I was wishing that I had never read any mommy books because a 2 day hunger strike would give me time to heal! I'm really hoping that this was a one time thing because I was shooting for 12 months of breast feeding but I don't know if the "girls" can take much more abuse! Poor kid must be working on the gigantic molars right now because he looks absolutely miserable and the teething toys just aren't doing the trick anymore. Finally got him down for an overdue afternoon nap a few minutes ago after listening to him make sounds that weren't quite human for a full 15 minutes. I am currently enjoying the fact that Jack isn't using the icy teething apple right now so I can hold it on my throbbing breast. At least someone is getting some relief!

Had a good morning/early afternoon at Strollercize with the mommies. Lots of people I have never met before and I'm not even sure that they are members of our group. They may have just attached themselves to us -- like barnacles! I'm sure they are wonderful women, but it has taken me a long time to get comfortable with the core group of mommies and I just wasn't feeling very welcoming today. We have just finally started talking about "real" things -- like books, movies, what we did pre-baby and dishing about the daddies but we seem to be back to breastfeeding and teething discussions. I know this sounds a little like the pot calling the kettle black since I just spent a full paragraph bitching about nothing but breastfeeding and teething, but this is my personal venting space so I feel entitled.

Listening to the monitor now -- Jack is calm and sighing. Joy to my ears. I'm going to go outside and enjoy the 70 degree weather for a little bit longer and try to forget that I'm probably still bleeding...

Jack Thinks that Halloween is Hilarious

Ingredients for a belly laugh? Just take a funny voice from Daddy paired with an Elmo Halloween card and you end up with this video.

Halloween #1 is down in the history books. We visited 6 houses, stole the candy that we wanted to eat from Jack's bucket and gave the rest away to the neighborhood kids. Jack didn't get much out of the whole thing but he was definitely a trooper and wore the fireman costume for about 3 hours today -- not only for the trick or treating, but while passing out candy on the porch and for his big Sears photo shoot this morning. Next year will be much more exciting when he can voice his own opinions on costume choices and I might actually let him eat some of the candy.

Happy Halloween!

This is Amy math...

Keep your hats on -- this might be a little advanced for the uninitiated...

Amy math is a fairly new concept. It's not being taught in schools yet, but it might be a part of the curriculum soon. In a nutshell, Amy math is the way that I justify purchases by telling Rob how much money I have saved us by buying something. It goes something like this:

"Hi sweetie! How was your day?" Then, without waiting for an answer, I launch into a diatribe of all the places we went that day, all the people we saw and all of the things we did. Somewhere in the middle of this travelogue I will insert one of the following equations:

1. "So, you know how I haven't had to buy tampons for 18 months now? I decided since I was saving us $8 every month that I would buy a Santa suit for Jack."
2. "So, you know how I don't have to pay a $14.99 sitting fee every time we go to Sears to have Jack's pictures taken? I decided to use the $90 that I saved us to buy myself 3 new sweaters. Also, I got you some socks."
3. "So, you know how we haven't been out to eat in, like, 4 months? I decided to use the $150 that we would have been spending on food, drinks and tips to buy Jack a trampoline."
4. "So, you know how our insurance co-pays went from $30 to $15? I decided that with the hundreds of dollars that we will be saving this year that I would buy a puppy."
5. "So, you know how Jack's hospital bills came to just over $180,000? Since we only had to fork over $2000 in co-pays , I decided that I would use the $178,000 that we saved to buy a vacation home. An inexpensive vacation home, but a vacation home nonetheless. We need to get away sometimes."

Like I said. It's advanced. Not for the faint of heart. Poor Rob has been struggling with this concept for almost 20 years now and he still has trouble keeping up.

I am happy to report that with the $40 I saved just by posting this blog entry electronically instead of mailing out hard copies or using precious cell phone minutes to tell everyone about this concept I will be buying Jack 5 new boardbooks. See how easy that is??

10 Things that Jack couldn't say this week (but he wanted to...)

Since Jack can only say one word right now -- "Mama" -- I have designated myself as his translator/spokesperson. These are the Top 10 Things that Jack wanted to say this week (but couldn't.)

1. "Naps are for babies. I'm not a baby, therefore I do not have to nap. End of story."
2. "Read this book to me one more time. Okay, two more times. What I really mean is: read this book to me until I deem it appropriate for you to stop. I don't care if you know this book backwards and forwards, I continue to find subtle nuances in the text each and every time we read it."
3. " Yogurt is the only food that I really need to eat. Toss in some milk once in a while and I'm good to go. Really. No other food preparation is necessary. I want to make this as easy on you as possible, Mom!"
4. " Lucy (the cat) really loves it when I pull on her tail. She told me. Really. No kidding. Do you doubt me? Can you talk to animals? I didn't think so..."
5. "This car seat sucks. Why am I sitting backwards. You're not sitting backwards..."
6. "Why are you putting all of these clothes on me? I don't need to wear 3 layers....and, no, wait, socks? Not the socks. You know that I hate the socks. Don't you know by now that I will just pull those things off the second you put me down on the floor?! Why don't you ever learn, Mommy?"
7. "Why do you keep putting a bowl of water on the floor if I can't play in it? I don't care if it is technically for the dog...it's in my path and I'm going to splash in it. If you don't like it, move the bowl!"
8. "Mommy, don't you know that the more you childproof the house, the smarter I get? Every device you install challenges me to find new and more exciting (and dangerous) things to climb on, climb in or pull up on. I can not be stopped!"
9. "Why won't you just let me do what I want? If I really want to poke my fingers into the electrical outlet or to slam my fingers in a drawer or to fall down the steps, I'm going to find a way to do it. You can't outsmart me. I am invincible! " (Insert evil, menacing laugh here.)
10. "Put that F@#$&%& camera away!"
    

Jack isn't a snow bunny

It might have been the timing...

14 inches of snow on the ground. 8 a.m. Just woke up from a nice, long sleep. Spent 20 minutes struggling to get on the coat, hat, boots, mittens and warm under layers. Jack was in the snow for 15 seconds -- 5 of which was spent face down -- before we all went back inside.

We'll try again next time. It is Denver, after all. We'll have plenty of chances to introduce Jack to winter weather.

I admit that it must be hard to enjoy so much snow when you can't walk and when your boots and your mittens keep falling off and your hat is in your eyes and your mom is pointing a camera at you. Also, how am I supposed to explain snow angels to someone who hasn't mastered "bye bye" yet?!

10 Ways I love my son differently than I love my husband

1. I would never let Rob throw up on me 5 times in a row and then let him snuggle up for comfort.
2. I would never leave the house with vomit in my hair, even if Rob asked me to -- for any reason.
   
3. I would never sit in the car for an hour doing crossword puzzles so Rob could finish enjoying a nap in the backseat.
4. I do not prepare 6 healthy meals and snacks a day for Rob to eat.
5. I do not buy Rob a toy every time I make a trip to Target. In my defense, Rob's toys are too expensive!
6. Jack gets to see my boobs way more than Rob does.
7. Jack has 4 different modes of transportation (including 2 strollers, the car seat and being carried.) Rob has only 2 (the car and the train.) Also, I almost never carry Rob anywhere and he never gets to use the car because Jack and I are always using it.
8. I spend much more time Googling how to care for babies than I ever spent Googling how to care for husbands.
9. I go on more dates with Jack than I do with Rob. Sure, they are play dates, but they still count!
10. I don't tell "poop" jokes to make Rob laugh. Jack thinks they are awesome! Wait -- now that I think about it, Rob thinks they are awesome too...
    

Flu Season hits our house

So as if the common cold weren't enough, Jack decided to check out the new and exciting world of stomach flu this week. Honestly I had no idea that that much vomit could come out of such a small person. Think "The Exorcist" and you're getting close to what we were dealing with. Jack had a smile on his face throughout most of the ordeal -- even a trip to Children's Hospital yesterday after Mommy freaked out because not even water was staying down. 2 hours, 2 tablets of anti-nausea medicine and a $300 bottle of Pedialyte later (just a guess on the price -- insurance will be picking up this tab) we were home for a nap and some more recuperation time. Also tallied up for the 2 days of sickness were 7 loads of laundry, 8 changes of clothes for Mommy, 2 missed naps (for both Jack and Mommy) and countless numbers of diapers. Having had lots of time to think about sickness and taking care of sick people while trying to get Jack calmed down enough to sleep has led me to this next post...

10 things that I am not allowed to do now that I am a mommy

Now, before anyone gets upset, this is my personal list. I am not saying that all mommies are not allowed to do these things. Just me. Also remember that this is all in fun (mostly) so you shouldn't take it so seriously!

1. Take a day off.
2. Get sick.
3. If you do get sick (Bad mommy, bad mommy!) you can't take any of the "good" medicine (NyQuil, Robitussin, TheraFlu, Codeine, etc.) Benadryl and prayer are your only options. **Applies only to breastfeeding mommies.
4. Watch a movie from beginning to end. Finish watching an entire t.v. show. Finish a crossword puzzle (you have forgotten all of your "big words") or finish a thought...wait, what was I just doing??! Oh yeah, the rest of the list...
   
5. Stay awake past 9 p.m.
   
6. Sleep through the night. Now that Jack sleeps through the night just fine, I can't seem to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.
7. Swear. I used to swear like a sailor. Now I insert the word "poop" where I used to be able to shout "F@$&!"
8. Wear anything that says "Dry Clean Only." (as a side note -- did you know that some baby clothes actually say this too? Who would be crazy enough to dress a baby in something that can't go in the washing machine??)
9. Leave Target without somehow ending up in the Baby department -- even if you don't need anything from the Baby department -- and buying something that you never knew you needed, wanted or would ever have the desire to buy.
   
10. Rinse, lather AND repeat. I really miss the repeat...
    

10 Ways to tell if you are a "real" mommy yet...

1. Your child is wearing a $30 Gymboree sweater and $40 Calvin Klein jeans. You, however, are wearing a $12 hoodie from Target and you have a hole in your sock. You are still, however, wearing lipstick that you paid $30 for to try to make yourself feel "girlie" again...
   
2. In your diaper bag you have the following snacks for your child: a sippy cup full of organic apple juice, a bag of raisins that you dried yourself, 3 different kinds of organic cereal puffs and a bottle of water. When you are hungry, you search desperately in your purse for a leftover restaurant mint.
3. Your once immaculate car now is home to 2 strollers, a shopping cart cover, 3 stuffed animals, 5 teething toys, 2 baby coats, a water-resistant blanket to use at the park and lots of old Mapquest directions to various playgroup activities.
4. You used to do 2 loads of laundry per week -- one lights and one darks. You now do laundry every day and your sorting technique now includes a "poop" load and a "vomit" load.
5. Your once svelte dog is now 12 pounds overweight since she no longer has your undivided attention.
6. You haven't seen a movie with swear words in 10 months.
7. You forget that your birthday is coming up, instead focusing on your child's birthday that is 2 months away.
8. You forget to buy toilet paper but never forget to buy breast pads.
9. You plan your life around naps. Not your naps. Your child's naps.
10. You haven't set your alarm clock in 10 months.
    

Jack's new carseat

The time has finally come to retire the teeny weeny baby car seat for a new, improved and much roomier version. Jack's Car seat 2.0.

Jack had WAY more fun with the box that the car seat came in than he will ever have sitting in the car seat. I'm sure of it! This one should carry us through 3 or 4 years and 30 or 40 more pounds. I can't even imagine...
The only drawback? Only one cup holder. What is a kid on the go supposed to do if he needs a bottled water and a cappuccino?? Design issues aside, this is a great new addition to our growing pile of baby equipment.

Daddy is so pleased...

Rob is just so pleased. Jack is checking out the game. Even if it is the Broncos and not the Rams. I'm sure that his interest has nothing to do with the motion and the fun colors and the flashing lights and the clapping and the yelling. I'm sure that Jack is quite interested in all of the finer points of the game and just can't wait to spend each and every Sunday afternoon (and Monday night and Thursday night and sometimes Saturdays) happily zoning out on the couch with Daddy. Eating nachos and drinking milk. Fun, fun, fun!

Speaking of clapping -- Jack learned how to do it this weekend. He does it A LOT! In restaurants, at Home Depot, in the car, in his play yard, in the tub, while eating dinner and probably in his sleep if he can figure out how to stay asleep while clapping. Cute trick. I'm going to see if I can morph this new skill into Pat-a-cake. I've got lofty goals this week....

Two Jacks? Can't even imagine it...

Photo day at Sears. Snazzy vest and dress shirt combo. Didn't fuss a bit. Good boy, Jack! Totally serious about everything (getting into character, maybe?) until the cute little photographer shook a stuffed frog and said "Hey there, handsome boy!" and then Jack really turned on the cheese. 20 goofy shots with fake leaves and fake backgrounds and I love every one. Jack had a ball checking himself out in the mirror while we waited to choose our poses and to fill out all of the financial aid paperwork to pay for them.

This photo got me thinking...
If I have this much trouble keeping track of one kid, how in the world do moms (and dads) manage not to lose a second kid whenever they leave the house?? Even pondering this is giving me a headache.

It's true. Jack is a monkey.

Don't read this if you happen to be a Creationist, but Jack IS a monkey. It was proven today at the Denver Zoo where he shrieked like a Spider Monkey for 90 minutes (happy shrieks, but shrieks nonetheless.) He also twisted and contorted himself around in the stroller until I couldn't really figure out how to untangle him from the harness without the manual or the Jaws of Life. Add this to the turning and standing up in the shopping cart and the sheer speed with which he scales the stairs (trees can't be far off) and I am now quite certain that he is not totally human. He also loves to hang upside-down. Could he be half bat and half monkey? You be the judge.

This is Jack zoning out.

You might think that this is Jack looking pensive. Or studious. But, no. Jack's zoning out. I know I'm not supposed to use the TV as a babysitter but once in a while it is absolutely mandatory to have five minutes to work on dinner. Or complete a phone call. Or pee. It didn't used to be as difficult to get things done when Jack was just a little lump of cuteness. Now, he is a crawling, standing, lunging, falling mess of a baby. Just today, we've been swimming in Sophie's water bowl, up and down the steps 26 times, inside the laundry basket, dangerously close to the litter box, backwards and standing up in a shopping cart and almost smashing head-first into the brick wall in our house. And it's only 1 p.m.!

Halloween Preview

OK, so the cat's out of the bag. Jack is going to be a fireman for Halloween. We had a trial run on the hat and the coat yesterday just to make sure that Jack wasn't going to flip out while wearing the noisy coat and to see what materials I am going to need to keep that "helmet" on his head for more than 3 minutes. All systems are go. Jack thinks the noisy coat is neat and especially likes it when you make an ear-splitting siren noise. At the suggestion of Aunt Jill, Sophie is going to be disguised as the world's largest dalmatian -- not sure exactly how to do this yet, but I've got time. I think I'll make Rob dress all in red to be the "fire truck" and I'll wrangle the "dalmatian" and make the ear-splitting siren sounds. This is a lot of work to get a few fun-size Snickers bars. What won't I do for candy...

In other news, Jack has taken 2 unassisted steps. This doesn't mean he is walking. This just means that his legs are finally catching up to his torso and arms. This is a nice change to his former motion of leading with his face. Jack's face has become a road map of our living room furniture. He has a scratch on his cheek from the coffee table, a red mark from the corner of the TV stand, a slight bump from the front door. Good thing that babies are rubbery and bounce (most of the time.) I'll keep you posted on any new developments.

New foods this week include a lasagna-like casserole and black beans. Not together. That would be mean. Both were big hits so we'll keep trying for more "adult" food and see how it goes.

Cute Halloween costumes aren't free and with the new additions to Jack's fall/winter wardrobe I have been looking sadly into my closet and wondering why Jack has more cute clothes than I do. I remedied the situation yesterday at Goodwill. Yes, Goodwill. Don't laugh. I got a pair of Levi's, 2 pairs of Old Navy pants, a Woolrich coat and an Ann Taylor Loft sweater for under $30. Try to beat that at a "normal" retail store.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to pay full-price again! It takes a little more time to find something that I like but it's definitely worth the $$$ saved.

Sad day for Rob

Today was the first day that Rob didn't get to see Jack at all. Not even for a minute. Jack was still sleeping when Rob left for work and he was down for the count when Rob got home. This is actually kind of odd since Jack didn't sleep at all today for me but he seems more than happy to sleep for Daddy -- even if Daddy isn't home yet. Rob is sad, but I have promised him that he will have lots of playtime opportunities this weekend and I will also gladly let him change all of the diapers this weekend in case he missed doing that too. Gearing up for Noni's visit next week when we will be getting 9 and 10 month photos taken (you'll just have to choose 2 poses and one can be for 9 months and the other for 10 months -- Mommy isn't so on the ball with the scheduling of portraits!), going out for cupcakes and a play date and maybe off to the Children's Museum. I'm not sure if Noni knows that we'll have something planned for every minute of every day but Jack and I will be running her legs off. It will be fun to see how she handles a much-more-mobile Jack. He was just starting to move around the last time she visited. Boy! Is she in for a surprise!

If Jack ran the kitchen...

If Jack ran the kitchen, this would be the standard grocery list:

1. Yogurt. Lots of it. Plain. No fruit.
2. Meatballs. Frozen. Full of salt and additives.
3. Toast. Not bread. Toast. Jack thinks that toast just comes like that.
4. Puffs. Sweet potato flavored. One canister for Jack and one for Sophie since Sophie steals them from Jack.
5. Popsicles. Small, slow-melting variety. Any flavor is fine. Red is best, since it stains the most and mysteriously is the stickiest!
6. Earth Baby Organics "Chicken Mango Risotto" jarred baby food. I'm not kidding. This is a flavor of baby food. And, Jack can't get enough of it!
7. Rice cakes. Plain, boring, no sodium, no flavor rice cakes.
8. Gerber Banana/Grape/Plum combo. Weird mix, but it's a classic around here.
9. Apple Carrot juice. Jack still can't get the hang of the sippy cup. He tries to eat the bottom of it and drops it on the floor a lot, but what he actually consumes he seems to like.
10. More yogurt. Can't ever have enough yogurt.
    

Harper and Jack go for a ride

Although Harper's mom swears it isn't so, I think that Jack looks like a deranged little old man in this photo. Harper is the lovely gal in the hoodie that is pushing Jack around in her cool wagon. Harper is an older woman, born in October, and is one of Jack's favorite friends in our playgroup. This photo was taken last Thursday after Strollercize in Washington Park. Luckily (or unluckily, as the case may be) I didn't have to attend the actual workout portion since Jack's nap ran late but we did make it just in time for the play time! There was much discussion about Halloween costumes -- of the 4 babies in attendance there will be a fireman, a monkey, a dinosaur and a fairy. Any guesses on what Jack will be? The only one I will rule out for you is the fairy. I'm not quite ready for gender-bending yet...

Jack's stats

I forgot to let you know that Jack's 9 month well-checkup was last week and we have some new stats for you. He is now a whopping 20 pounds (50th percentile) and 30 inches tall (92nd percentile.) In case you are just nodding and smiling right now, not really sure what all of the percentile mumbo jumbo is, don't feel bad! I had to ask too! It just means that out of 100 babies his age, Jack is heavier than 50 of them and taller than 92 of them. Remember when this kid was 4 pounds?? He's healthy as a horse and apparently eating like one or he wouldn't be growing so quickly. Yay baby!

Late breaking news! Last night, our boy slept from 6 pm until 4 am with nary a peep. After a quick (and very early) breakfast, he was back down until 7:15 am. Mommy, on the other hand, tried to go to bed at 8:30 pm and didn't let herself fall asleep until 1 am. Is there a Sleep Lady for mommies?? I'm really glad that I found that book. Not sure how long it will take me to relax enough to let myself sleep better, but at least my insomnia is my own fault and not Jack's!

Top 10 things that Sophie hears around the house these days

1. Don't lick the baby!
2. Don't step on the baby!
3. Get off the baby's blanket!
4. Get out of the baby's room!
5. Move it, Sophie!
6. Let's go to the park! (Sophie jumps up and wags her tail.) Oh, not you, Sophie. I meant Jack and Mommy!
7. Sophie? Why are you so huge?
8. Sophie! Don't eat those! Those are for Jack!
9. Sophie, go lay down!
10. Sophie, why are you so furry?!

Poor, poor Sophie. She tries so hard. She just loves to lick the baby and snuggle with the baby and knock the baby down. All 112 pounds of her. Our first guilt-reliever was to pass out rawhides and bones and treats like we pass out candy on Halloween. 12 pounds gained. No more treats. Sophie is sad. Things are looking up for her since Jack now loves to have her along on walks as his source of entertainment. Watch the doggie run really fast! Watch Mommy try to keep up! Watch Mommy try to keep the stroller upright. Funny, funny, funny!

Jack's Three Joys in Life

Jack's three joys in life:

1. Boobs
2. Swinging (at the playground -- not with other couples)
3. T.V. -- especially watching his beloved They Might Be Giants DVDs

It is a sad week at the Siders house as the DVD player has called it quits and there has been no vegging out for Jack. We remedied the situation today with a quick trip to Best Buy but Jack fell asleep on the way home so he will just have to wait for the big surprise. We had a lovely lunch at Qdoba where we learned that babies seem to love cilantro rice. The nice ladies behind the counter gave me a whole bowl of it (gratis!) when I explained this new revelation to her. I wonder what else I can get for free because Jack likes it and, as his spokesperson, I am required to ask for him. Jack really likes T.V. Do you think I can upgrade us to HD if I reason with the folks at the electronics store?

Be thankful for what you have...

Be thankful for the multitudes of photo downloads that you have been able to view thus far...
This is the best that I've been able to do lately since Jack won't sit still for more than 4 seconds at a time. He is now able to scoot up the stairs in under a minute and if you turn your head for a millisecond you can be assured that he is trying to scale them. Our only project this weekend is to install safety gates at the top and the bottom of the staircase so Mommy doesn't have a heart attack every time she hears a thud. Jack's other new fascinations this week? Sophie's water bowl, the front loading washing machine that is at chest level for him since it is part of a stackable unit, biting noses (anyone's will do) and tooth brushing. That's right. Tooth brushing. I know he only has two of them but all of the books try to scare the crap out of parents by warning them to brush ASAP or your child will immediately get tooth decay and be physically disfigured for life when his baby teeth fall out. We are also warned to get to the dentist before his first birthday. That ought to be fun...I can't even keep him still long enough to change a diaper! I'd like to see them try to strap him into a reclining dental chair. Maybe if they let him watch T.V.???

Jack. In the box.

Jack. In the box. How clever! Rob thought of it. I am no longer able to think of witty and clever things to say or write since I have had 3 hours of good sleep since beginning this new, awesome phase of parenting -- crying it out. We have turned to our new guru -- The Sleep Lady -- to assist us with this monumental task. Apparently, we have been doing everything wrong.
Our major failures?

1. Putting Jack in his crib dead asleep rather than "drowsy but awake."
2. Not introducing Jack to a "lovey" sooner. A lovey is anything soft and cuddly that can be a sleep friend.
3. Not letting Jack learn how to fall asleep on his own. I'm not even good at this! How can I expect a 9-month old to learn how to do this if his 36-year old Mommy can't figure it out. Do they make Baby Ambien?
   
4. Nursing to sleep. Bad, bad Mommy!
5. Running to Jack whenever he makes a tiny peep, squawk or guttural moan instead of waiting for a moment to see if he will go back to sleep on his own. HA! Fat chance! (See #3.)

Okay. So now that we realize that we are big, fat failures in this department we are following The Sleep Lady's prescription to the letter. Much to my dismay, the prescription does not come in a bottle. Rob and I are taking shifts sleeping in a chair in Jack's room so we can be be in his face as soon as he wakes up to ssh him back to sleep. Touching is allowed (briefly). Nursing, rocking, bouncing, singing and all of our other tried and true methods are not. First night had me in tears for 2 hours. Jack cried for just under an hour. Rob rejoiced and exalted the Sleep Lady's virtues. Jack only woke up once in the night and slept until 6:30 a.m. Hallelujah! I can see light at the end of the tunnel. It's a faint light and it's a long tunnel, but I can see it if I squint.

8 more nights of this. Sounds like Hannukah. Shouldn't I get a present for every day of this that I survive?

Child Welfare might be looking for me...

I think that Child Welfare might be looking for me -- just this week, Jack has cracked his forehead on the corner of his dresser, tumbled on a tile floor at the mall (no visible marks or bruises), banged his upper lip into the edge of the coffee table and nearly gone sailing off of the changing table. The kid is going to be a walking bruise before he can actually walk! He seems to have no concept of spatial relations, no recollection that he needs to always have one arm on something to steady himself and no memory of things that "go bonk." He refuses to let me put ice on anything that is swelling and doesn't seem to hear the word "no." I think I'll be off to the Office Max to purchase an extra-large roll of bubble wrap to either protect him or our stuff. Jack's smaller. He will be easier to wrap!

Do you want to know what time it is?

Do you want to know what time it is? Well, if you are at our house and it is after 8:00 pm. and Jack is crying then you can be pretty sure that it is 5 minutes after the hour. Every hour. Since our return from Ohio -- where Jack slept like an angel, mind you -- Jack has been waking up at 8:05, 9:05, 10:05 -- you get the drift. It seems that somewhere between learning how to crawl and learning how to stand up in his crib that Jack forgot how to get himself back to sleep. Or, perhaps he never really knew how to do this and he was just less mobile so he didn't wake up as much. Whichever the reason, it led me to Barnes and Noble on Friday to purchase 2 books -- The Ferber classic "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" and "The Sleep Lady's" book that promised me a happy, sleeping child in just 14 days. Sigh. Rob and I are each reading one book and then giving each other a book report while we decide what to do. We are both adamantly against "crying it out" even if that is really, truly, probably the fastest way to go. But, seeing as I can't stand to hear Jack cry for more than 15 seconds at a time, unless Rob will let me check into a hotel while he attempts this method -- no matter how long it takes -- I don't think this will be our first option. Whichever way we decide to go, we'll be starting it next week after we have all of the information we need (and maybe some Valium for Mommy and some gin for Daddy...) and this also gives us a little time to harden our hearts. I know that sleep is SO important for Jack but I wish that the doctors had stressed just how important it was to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. At least we're not alone -- there wouldn't be 17 books on the bookstore shelf about baby sleep issues if we were the only parents in the world with a freakish baby that doesn't like to sleep thru the night. We'll keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Rob adds:
What?! Where was I when the vote took place?

I'm not opposed to letting Jack cry it out. If it means I can sleep again in three or four days --- rather than in two weeks! --- I'm adamantly in favor of it!

I want a recount! Where is my vote?! Justice now!! If I had more people I'd organize a march. Maybe shout at you at your town hall meeting.

Naps are for babies...

Jack, today, says "Naps are for babies."

Minimal nap this morning before the fun began and then total nap refusal until we made the trek to Daddy's office for a visit and hopefully for some exhausting crawling down the long office hallways. Thankfully, Rob left a little early tonight so he is now in Jack's room with Jack and via the baby monitor I can hear both of them snoozing soundly. Either I'm too interesting, Rob is too boring or Jack just likes napping with his dad. Whatever the reason, it gives me a chance to catch everyone up on our comings and goings of the past 2 weeks.

Things I Learned on My Summer Vacation by Jack Siders

1. TV is better than books. Doesn't taste as good, though. You don't get to watch TV on vacation. You get to watch Grandparents. That's better than TV.
   
2. Meatballs are yummy.
3. Boobs are useful in many ways, but especially useful on plane rides.
4. Crawling is WAY easier in big suburban houses than it is in small, cramped city abodes.
5. No pets means no giant fur tumbleweeds to pick up and put in my mouth (a lesson for Mommy!)
6. Traveling is no big deal when Mommy packs everything I own into one small bag.
7. Most people on airplanes are nice to babies. Even when we cry.
8. Flying direct is for babies. Big boys make connections. Even if they almost "lost" my stroller, and by "lost" I mean "sent it to Miami."
9. We get better seats on the plane when Mommy looks wan and frantic and begs the gate attendant for mercy. Yay Mommy!
10. Visiting family can be exhausting but I hope we get to go to it again soon!
    

Perspective. It changes everything

No, this is not a giant baby. This is just a photo taken from GG Denny's floor while Jack was debating whether to crawl back over to the fireplace to lick the glass, or as we like to say, "kiss the baby!"

Jack is having more fun than he looks...

Jack's first trip to the Toledo Zoo with Mom and Dad, GDad, Grandma Marcia and Bob. Jack had a good time -- even if it's not evident in this photo. Interesting sights today -- including a tiger stalking and catching and eating a bird visiting from the "outside." Haven't ever seen that before! It also appears that Jack is scared of really big fish that seem to swim right at him thru the glass. Also noticed that most women in the Greater Toledo area still seem to perm their hair. And, men seem to really enjoy wearing shorts that are a little too short. Just a few observations from an "outsider."

Capped off the day with a visit to the infamous Tony Packo's for lunch. Jack missed the whole affair due to an impromptu nap. Missed out on the yummy hot dogs and his first shot at macaroni and cheese. This restaurant is always on the must-do list for Rob and I whenever we are here. I'm sure there are better hot dogs in the world and there are definitely nicer restaurants, but this one always seems to be a crowd pleaser.

It's very nice to be "home" -- even if Toledo hasn't been my home for almost 20 years.

Everybody? Meet Jack. Jack? Meet everybody!

After a daunting day of travel thru Dallas to Detroit via American Airlines and a car ride to Toledo we finally settled in for our relaxing week of visiting with friends and family. Jack was surprisingly good on the plane -- I had been dreading that first trip for months. I was afraid that he would be "that baby." You know the one. The crying-so-much-that-I-am-gasping-for-air-while-I-get-my-second-wind-so-I-can-scream-some-more baby that we have all sat behind or in front of or next to on at least one plane ride in our lives. Thankfully, he was mostly quiet except when we were descending. Mostly, he was just bored. It's very hard to make a baby that has just learned how to move around fairly well stay quiet and happy in your lap. I didn't have to learn it the hard way, but after 4 legs of air travel, I am still not sure how in the world I would change a diaper mid-flight. That info is not listed on the safety card. Jack's favorite toys en route? The airsick bag, the headrest in front of us and Mommy's hair. Interesting fact? You can no longer get the cool set of gold wings with a pin to attach to your child to honor his first flight. Now there are only stickers. Pins are weapons. How sad is that?

Just in case you forgot...

This is a photo from 12/21/2008. How quickly things change. I
just can't believe that someone this little and alien-looking turned
out to be our Jack.


Photo taken 8/20/2009. Yay baby!

Now, why do I buy toys again??

Okay. So Jack's favorite chew toy/teether/whatever you want to call it
is an old remote to a TV that we don't even own anymore. He loves it.
This leads me to believe that I shouldn't buy anymore toys because I tend
to think they are much cuter and more fun than Jack does. Maybe I'm
really buying them for me??

Other favorite "toys" in our house:
Empty paper towel rolls
A plastic mixing spoon
The real remotes (not the play ones)
The real phones (not the play ones)
My keys -- incidentally, the key fob doesn't work anymore.
Do you think that GM will cover drool under the warranty?
A comb
An empty saline solution bottle
An upside-down laundry basket
Any newspaper or magazine

This is what TV does to a child.

Now, I'm all for interactive play and we do it as much as we can but
sometimes a mommy needs a break. We've got these awesome DVDs
from a band called They Might Be Giants -- 123s and ABCs. I love them.
Rob loves them. Jack is obsessed with them. I don't know if it's the cool
animation or the catchy songs or what but, I swear, Jack stares at the TV
screen with his mouth hanging open and he doesn't blink. Not once. Even
if I try to move him away from the TV before turning it off he will whip his
head around to continue watching. I'm not sure if the leading child
educators would approve but all I'm saying is GOD BLESS They Might Be
Giants. Ten or fifteen minutes a day and I've got my sanity back.

10 Things that made their way into Jack's mouth this week

1. A dustbunny the size of Montana
2. Daddy's yucky sandals
3. Mommy's yucky flipflops
4. The vacuum cord
5. His own feet
6. Sophie's feet
7. Lucy's tail -- he tried for her feet but she's too fast!
8. The tires on the stroller
9. Every remote control we own
10. A Netflix return envelope (amongst other mail...)

Jack's afternoon

12:05 p.m. Wake up from morning nap. Scream for 5 minutes.
12:10 p.m. Diaper change, new clothes, lunch is ready. Still screaming.
12:11 p.m. Mommy offers yogurt. Screaming stops.
12:12 p.m. Yogurt gone. Yum. Jack throws spoon on the floor.
12:13 p.m. Sophie licks spoon. Mommy draws the line and doesn't pick up
spoon. Mommy gets a new spoon.
12:20 p.m. Chicken, yogurt and banana/plum/grape combo mostly in Jack
but also on Jack.
12:25 p.m. Lunch dishes cleaned up. Jack's 3rd clothing change of the day.
12:30 p.m. Blanket out on floor. Playtime has begun. Mommy has turned
off sound on all noisy toys. Jack bangs rattle on table instead.
12:45 p.m. Jack makes first of 10 trips around the coffee table.
Jack forgets to move legs as he moves arms. Jack falls down. Jack cries.
12:46 p.m. Mommy shakes rattle. Jack smiles.
12:50 p.m. Mommy wants to read books. Jack does not. Jack chomps on TV remote.
1: 00 p.m. Mommy decides it is time for fresh air. Time to apply sunscreen.
Jack is not happy.
1:05 p.m. Stroller is packed with blanket, 6 toys, apple snacks, water for
Mommy and juice for Jack, diaper bag, phone and keys
(both for Jack to chew on.)
1:10 p.m. Arrive at park. Find nice spot near the little kids' playground.
Shoo away rabid-looking squirrels. Arrange blanket and all toys.
Settle in for a nice afternoon.
1:15 p.m. Jack would rather climb on stroller than play with toys.
Our nice area is sullied by a homeless man peeing on a tree.
Homeless man walks away. Play area is nice again.
1:30 p.m. Jack swings in the playground. Every time he swings backwards
he throws his head back and laughs. Mommy laughs too.
The day is salvaged.
1:50 p.m. Jack and Mommy play peek-a-boo 12,000 times.
Every time is funnier than the last. For Jack, not for Mommy.
Why did we teach him this game?
3:00 p.m. Arrive home. Mommy anticipates a Jack meltdown.
Circumvents this by offering boobs. Works like a charm.
3:15 p.m. A nap would be great right now. Jack says no.
Jack knows that his eyes are bloodshot, he can't stand up and
he looks like he has been on a 3-day bender but still fights it.
3:30 p.m. Mommy tries for "quiet time." Jack would rather
arch his back and almost fall out of the rocking chair.
Mommy gives up.
4:30 p.m. Stroller ride to pick up Daddy from the train.
A fresh pair of arms would be nice right now.
Jack is in charge of the keys. Keys are yummy.