Things that this SAHM is not allowed to do

I know I can't speak for all stay at home moms, but here are some things that I am not allowed to do:

• Get sick. I have no idea what single parents without family back-up do in this situation, but I had to have Rob stay home from work to watch Jack so I could sleep for 18 hours straight.
• Plan anything! Just when I think I have Jack's nap times under control, he throws me for a loop and I (and everyone around us) have to suffer through a major meltdown in Aisle 5.
• Enjoy a 3 hour beauty shop appointment. I haven't been in for a "real" haircut or color in 14 months. Great Clips doesn't count. Neither does a recent mishap with a box of Loreal Feria "Tortoise Shell" haircolor. I can't seem to find 3 spare hours to sit on my butt while someone else does the work, nor can I find the $150 every 8 weeks to make it happen.
  
• Shop smartly. I know that I have a growing boy to provide for, but do you know how hard it is to shop from a list, read labels, shuffle coupons and compare prices, all while trying to push a cart containing a baby that is turned around almost backwards in the seat, singing "LA LA LA" at the top of his lungs in your ear??
• Get to the gym. HA! I can go before 5 a.m. (before Rob goes to work) or after 5 p.m. (when Rob gets home.) The only times I have been up before 5 a.m. in the past year involve a hungry baby and by the time 5 p.m rolls around I am so worn out from the day that washing my face seems like a work out. Guess I'll have to trust the $7/hour day care workers at my gym and suck it up and go during the day.
• Wear earrings. Naked earlobes are really a must when you have a boy that is constantly poking his finger in your ear (human Q-tip?) and pulling hair, ears and whatever happens to be attached to them.

I think there could be weekly additions to this post. There are lots of things that SAHMs are allowed to do, but that list wouldn't be as funny...

Jack's 24 words

If I didn't tell you, the pediatrician told us that by Jack's 15 month well visit she would be looking for him to have a vocabulary of 24 words. I laughed at the time and thought "No problem!"

Well, it's a problem.

Jack still only says "Mommy" and "Daddy" aloud. He talks all of the time, but only other babies can understand him (and maybe the cat, I'm not sure.) We are very certain that he understands and recognizes the words or phrases on the following list but I am not sure that they will count as part of the "Big 24."

1. Batman -- as in "Where's Batman?" There is a big, stuffed Batman hanging on Jack's wall. He will point to it when asked.
2. Sophie/dog -- Jack will point to either our dog or a picture of a dog in a book when asked.
   
3. Lucy/cat
4. Birdie
5. Up
6. Milk
7. Water
8. Touchdown! -- Jack will throw his arms in the air when you say "Touchdown!"
9. Oh my! -- Jack will put his hands onto his cheeks when you say "Oh my..."
10. Tummy button -- Jack can point to his belly button and tummy. What a genius!
11. Nose -- Jack will point to your nose, his nose, the dog's nose, you get the idea...
12. Mouth
13. Feet
14. Family -- as in "Where is the family?" Jack will point to photos on our walls that feature all 3 of us.
    
15. Telephone -- except that everything is a telephone right now...
16. Cow/Pig/Duck/Sheep/Goat/Horse -- Jack can distinguish all of the different farm animals now. What is the big deal with babies needing to know this information? Do you know how many farm-related books and toys there are? How many babies are enrolled in 4H? Rural babies? Can't remember the last time I saw a cow roaming the streets of downtown Denver (excluding the Stock Show parade, that is.)
17. Baby

And, seriously? That's about it right now. If I keep driving in rush hour traffic with Jack, he will most certainly figure out 7 or 8 more words to add to his list but I wouldn't want him repeating those words in polite company...

This is what I deal with everyday

Evil, possessed child? Nope! That's just Jack. Being Jack. Pretty scary, huh?

When the only action you're getting is from your baby...?

I haven't had a hickey since I was 16 years old. That streak has been broken. I now have a big, red welt on my shoulder where Jack attached himself like a giant blowfish (or would that be suckerfish?) and I couldn't get him to stop! I don't know if this kid has an oral fixation or if he is still teething or what!? It's pretty sad when the only action you're getting is from your baby.

Other things that have made their way into Jack's mouth in recent days?

• a pink highlighter
• a tube of Chapstick
• every toy he owns -- every toy except his teething toys, of course
  
• the ice scraper in the backseat of the car
• the buttons on every sweater and coat that I own
• the Sunday comics
• Rob's bald head (Jack has a fondness for licking it!)
• our digital camera
• my cell phone, the house phone, the toy phones
• the lid from the margarine container
• Mommy's deodorant
• Mommy's eyelash curler

It's a wonder that the kid ever gets any actual food in his mouth with all of these other, more attractive items to chomp on.

Neither rain nor sleet...

So much for New Year's resolutions...

Only 5 days into mine and the stomach flu rears its ugly head. I will spare you the gory details, but needless to say, there was little time for blogging. I got it. Rob got it. Thank heavens that Jack was spared. I can handle many things but tiny people vomiting is sheer torture.

Off to bed for a final night of recuperation and back to the land of blog tomorrow!

January Blahs

I think that Jack and I are both suffering from the January blahs. It's been cold and snowy and we've been cooped up for a few days. We're also missing our Mommy group that has been on an unofficial hiatus during the hectic weeks of late December. After all of the excitement of his first birthday and the extravagance of Christmas we are left with a dirty house full of toys that are already starting to lose their allure. Jack has taken to playing with a saucepan and a colander. $3000 worth of shiny, noisy toys lying around and our kid chooses to play with cooking vessels. Go figure...
We're off to the Children's Museum tomorrow where Jack will ignore most of their toys too.

Why babies don't like to nap (and other burning questions)

Why doesn't my baby seem to enjoy napping? He always looks at me like I am trying to punish him in some way...
What does he think that I am doing while I have him locked away in his "baby jail?"
Am I...
Lying on the sofa eating ice cream out of the pint container? (I wish!)
Running errands? (I think that Children's Protective Services might get involved if this one were true...)
Watching one of his favorite They Might Be Giants DVDs while I eat his yogurt and drink his juice?
Chasing the cat and dog around the house?
Outside building a snowman?
Playing with all of his toys?
Hosting a play date for all of the babies in the neighborhood and giggling about how he is stuck in his crib while we are in the living room having SO much fun?
In all actuality, I am probably working on the computer. Or cleaning. Or doing laundry. Or reading. Or, if I am really lucky, stretched out on the sofa eating ice cream.

Things that Jack ate today

You might be expecting a list of funny things that made their way into Jack's mouth today, but I am being totally serious when I tell you that the following items were the sum total of Jack's meals today:
1 1/2 cups plain yogurt
Most of 1 piece of dry toast
2 (fairly large) handfuls of shredded cheese
1 meatball
1 olive (ended up spitting it out)
2 noodles from a pasta salad
1 cracker
2 bites of cottage cheese
1 ice cream cone (no ice cream...just the cone)
1 serving of Gerber Organics Bananas and Mixed berries
1 hamburger patty
1 pineapple tidbit (also spit out)
3 bites of banana pudding
1 bite of a chocolate chip brownie (God...this was disgusting! When he was done with it he looked like he had just had his stomach pumped with activated charcoal!)
1 sliver of carrot (from a bag of stir fry veggies)
1 sliver of red pepper (from the same bag of veggies)
2 glasses of whole milk
AND
a healthy dose of breast milk (because I think he may be starving for nutrients!)
Granted, many of the weird sounding items came from a salad bar at a restaurant but the rest of the menu was served at Chez Siders. You didn't think that I actually had ice cream cones in the pantry, did you?
I thought that Jack being able to feed himself (sort of) was supposed to broaden his horizons -- I didn't know that it would lead to him eating the same 3 foods for every meal of every day! Is is possible for a child to survive on only dairy products?? I know that Rob and I aren't always the most adventurous eaters, but, come on!

New year, new worries

I used some of the Christmas money to go buy myself a new book. Not fiction. Not a riveting best seller or something that can carry my mind to far off places. It's "What to expect -- The Toddler Years." Rob and I even had to discuss exactly what a toddler is...
We both came to the conclusion that Jack isn't an infant anymore based on the simple fact that his clothing is sized 18 months now and isn't located in the newborn or infant section of the store anymore. Very scientific! Also, the last "Expecting" book ended at 12 months and I'm pretty sure that parenting doesn't stop then as well.
So far I have looked up the following topics:
Biting
Throwing food, bottles and cups
Weaning (see "biting")
and
How to get your toddler to talk.
This was all much easier when all Jack could do was lay there and coo.
Jack doesn't seem to be biting anyone but me (for now) so, hopefully, with a few more teeth and a complete switch to cow's milk (funny...I've never had to distinguish it that way before this past year) the Dracula impulse will subside. The throwing of food and cups (according to the book) is an assertion of his independence and a good sign that he is on the right path to feeding himself. I am left wondering when he will be on the right path to cleaning up after himself. If it weren't for Sophie, I'd constantly be mopping floors. The talking thing is coming along slowly. He's mastered mommy and is sporadically using daddy. Pointing is his primary method of communication (along with the very effective screaming and crying.) At Jack's 12 month visit the pediatrician recommended that we focus on language skills for the next 3 months since she will be looking for 24 spoken words by the next well visit. Crap! So much pressure! There are days where I don't even think that I use 24 words! I'm hoping that if we don't meet this goal that we won't have to look for a new pediatrician. She can't really "fail" us as parents and discontinue Jack's care, can she??

The Year of 365 Posts

I
2010. We're not out whooping it up. Not that we ever really whooped it up on New Year's Eve, but if you add up the exorbitant price of babysitting, the over-priced and mediocre food at holiday time in restaurants and the very real dangers of being thrown up on in a bar or being hit by some amateur out on the road and you end up with a quiet evening at home. Jack was asleep by 7 and Rob and I caught up on some much needed t.v. viewing. I'm not too broken up about it. There will be other nights for excitement.
Based on this post's title, you can assume that my New Year's Resolution is to post everyday of this year. Rain, sleet, snow, hail -- nothing can stop me. Short of a major earthquake, I'll do my very best to keep you so "in the know" that you will probably be telling me to stop the flow of information somewhere in mid-February. You may not have asked for it, but here it is: 365 days in the life of Jack Siders (and mom and dad, too!)