When the only action you're getting is from your baby...?

I haven't had a hickey since I was 16 years old. That streak has been broken. I now have a big, red welt on my shoulder where Jack attached himself like a giant blowfish (or would that be suckerfish?) and I couldn't get him to stop! I don't know if this kid has an oral fixation or if he is still teething or what!? It's pretty sad when the only action you're getting is from your baby.

Other things that have made their way into Jack's mouth in recent days?

• a pink highlighter
• a tube of Chapstick
• every toy he owns -- every toy except his teething toys, of course
  
• the ice scraper in the backseat of the car
• the buttons on every sweater and coat that I own
• the Sunday comics
• Rob's bald head (Jack has a fondness for licking it!)
• our digital camera
• my cell phone, the house phone, the toy phones
• the lid from the margarine container
• Mommy's deodorant
• Mommy's eyelash curler

It's a wonder that the kid ever gets any actual food in his mouth with all of these other, more attractive items to chomp on.