Mommies need a break (part deux)

I am scrapping the New Year's Resolution to get 365 posts done this year. I am having trouble finding the time to sit down to collect my thoughts most days so I'm taking the pressure off of myself. I'll blog as often as I can and I'll just remind myself that resolutions rarely stick -- all you have to do to prove this one is walk into my gym in January and then walk into my gym in February. Big difference in the crowds!

To know what kind of day I had today, just read last week's post. Perfect replica. No nap to speak of this morning, then I hauled Jack off to a play date at his gal pal Harper's house. He was the life of the party -- most of the mommies hadn't seen Jack upright yet so it was a proud moment for both of us. He ran around like a madman and (thankfully) didn't hit anyone, break anything or cause any trouble other than being constantly drawn to the buttons on Harper's gigantic TV. On the way home he was the classic Sleepy Baby, rubbing his red eyes and yawning so big that I could see down his throat. Once we got inside and he realized that we were on the way to his room, the yelling and the kicking began. Calmly, I continued on like nothing was happening and tried to get him to lay down. 30 minutes of screaming followed by 20 minutes of calming him down and we were back to playing in the living room.

It just can't be this hard! First, it was 2 good, long naps. Then it was one good, long nap (for 3 days.) Now, we are down to no naps and Jack is so exhausted by the end of the day that he has trouble overnight too! Aaargh! Can't a mommy catch a break??

We've got no plans tomorrow so the timing of the naps isn't so critical. Maybe I'll be able to calm down a little bit and just go with the flow. Probably not, but it's a nice idea, isn't it?

Mommies need a break too.

Just when I start to think I'm pretty good at this mommy thing I have a day like we are having today. I think Jack needs to eat and Jack needs to fling yogurt at me. I know that Jack needs to nap because he has bags under his eyes the size of Rhode Island but he screams bloody murder until I rescue him from the crib. I decide (perhaps unwisely) that we should go to the playground to rid Jack of all of his excess energy and that goes well, he even falls asleep on the way home. But, then comes the awful moment where I try to transfer him from the car to the crib and the horrible cry, scream, wail, sob cycle begins all over again. Jack wants to nurse. Jack doesn't want to nurse. Jack wants to nurse but decides to bite and kick instead. Just as I've almost reached my limit and the tears start to fall (mine, not Jack's) he laughs at me. That's it. I'm at my breaking point. Jack is in the crib. I'm sobbing in the kitchen. Jack is throwing all of his toys out of the crib and onto the floor and screaming "Mama" at the top of his lungs and all I can do is cry and cry and cry. I'm calm now but Jack is wide awake and I want nothing more than to curl up and take a nap. I know that there will always be days like this and that it has nothing to do with whether I'm a good mom or not, but it definitely seem like some sort of test that I'm failing. Today, anyways. There's still a few more hours left for me to feel like I'm redeeming myself. I'm going back in...wish me luck.

Hopefully this will put to rest...

Hopefully this will put to rest any of those doubts I may have concerning a switch at birth. I was going through some old photos and found this one -- me at 13 months old. It looked familiar and I wasn't sure exactly why until I was getting ready to frame Jack's Christmas 2009 photos. Then, it hit me. If Jack was wearing a yellow dress -- circa 1973 -- and if I happened to be donning a Santa suit, we could be twins. Fraternal twins, but twins, nonetheless. The books say that boys tend to resemble their mothers (to aid in the bonding process) and girls favor their fathers (for the same reason.) Not sure if this is the case in all families, but it seems to apply in ours.

Baby Expos are not really for Babies Part Deux

So, as I was saying, Jack would have been more than happy to skip the Baby Expo had we not stumbled upon a room filled with model train sets. Lots and lots of trains. Jack stood behind the yellow Caution tape and pointed at them for upwards of 30 minutes. I'm not sure that he blinked once! I'm not rushing out to purchase a set, but I can see one in our future. I have already given up on ever having a coffee table in the living room or putting my dining room table back into the center of the dining room (it has been pushed against the wall since Jack's birthday party) but where in the hell am I going to put a train set? Maybe I can get rid of the sofa? Anyways, I haven't seen Jack that captivated by anything since he first discovered TV.

When I was finally able to drag Jack away from the trains, we discovered another treasure: A Petting Zoo and Pony Ride Ring! Based on Jack's love of all things "farm" I thought he would relish the chance to not only read about, but actually touch the "moo cows" and "oink oinks." Boy, was I wrong. We circled the ring for a few minutes to get him acclimated to the idea of living, breathing farm animals and Jack was fine with the pig, the sheep and the goats. He was not, however, fine with the gobbling turkeys and the giant black llama that reached its long tongue over the fence in Jack's general direction. He immediately started screaming until he turned bright red and forgot how to breathe. I couldn't get out of there fast enough! Who knew that a bedraggled excuse for a llama could cause such misery?!

Do you know the best cure for llama-phobia? Trains. Jack and I spent 20 more awestruck minutes pointing at every train as it motored by us and the petting zoo was all but forgotten.

Thank god I didn't try to make him ride a pony!

Baby Expos are not really for Babies

Jack and I attended the Colorado Baby and Kidz (their goofy spelling, not mine!) Expo today at the Denver Merchandise Mart. I had no idea what to expect so I guess I can't say that I was disappointed. There was a lot of good information for parents (pre-schools, music lessons, etc.) and lots of things to try and buy. And, how can I forget to mention the free samples. Oh, how I love free samples!

The only truly unique, useful product I found were "Boogie Wipes." These are wet wipes for runny, snotty baby noses. This might not seem like a big deal, but if you ever have to wipe Jack's nose, you will appreciate any help that you can get! You can check them out at: www.boogiewipes.com.

If you're a mommy like me, you dread hearing the doorbell ring during nap time. I stick a Post-it-Note on the front door that reads (in Sharpie marker) "Please don't knock or ring bell. Baby is sleeping." Fancy? No. But (mostly) effective. There was a vendor selling adorable wooden plaques that Velcro to the doorbell that read "Hush, hush...baby dreaming." Much more attractive than my method, but $9-$12 can buy a lot of Post-it-notes.
Check them out at http://dreamkeepersonline.com/

My total winnings and take-home gifts from this event:

• Numerous formula, baby oil, moisturizer and diaper cream samples.
• $50 gift certificate to Stroller Strides (stroller exercise classes.)
• (1) free baby/mommy swimming lesson.
• A huge handful of Boogie Wipes samples (Jack distracted them while I filled up the diaper bag.)
• Lots of coupons that I will never use.
• One red balloon that I stole from one of the vendors to keep Jack happy for 20 extra minutes.

It was a good time but next year I think I'll head to this event alone.
The whole morning would have been a waste of time for Jack until we stumbled upon the...
(to be continued)

I am hiding from the baby

I am hiding in my guest bedroom. I was hiding outside earlier, but it got too cold. I am hiding from the baby because the baby is exhausted and he is exhausting me. If I don't hide, he might hear me tiptoeing around and lure me back into his room. I'm a sucker for the tears. His tears, not mine. Mine haven't started yet.

Jack is alternating between whimpering, whining and screaming. It is now 3:00 p.m. and he has been up since 7:00 a.m. without a nap. I know that it is about time to transition from two naps per day down to one, but I didn't think it would be happening today. We have already played this game twice today -- first at 10 and again at 12 and then I just gave up trying. Jack was so tired that he was running into walls, the furniture, the dog. He was trying to lean back -- all cool -- on the sofa and he slid down to the floor and tried to act like he meant to do that. Then, he cried.

He's not fooling me. I'm the mommy. I know better.

He is finally quiet. But, for how long?
I am running out of places to hide...

Things that Jack would say (if he knew more than 2 words)

Here are a few things that Jack would like to say aloud if he were able:

• I didn't bite you -- I only nibbled!
• Why are you trying to feed me that? Would you eat it? Ha! I didn't think so!
• I don't need a nap. I'm fine. Naps are for babies. I'll go to bed early. Really, I will.
• No. I don't want to. (This is an all-purpose statement.)
• Where are you going? Why are you leaving me here all by myself? Don't you love me anymore?
  
• I think we should get rid of all of the furniture and get a big trampoline instead.
• I think we should get another cat. Lots of cats, actually. I love cats.
• You don't need to buckle me in here -- I'll sit still. Really, I will.
• Read that one again. Now, read it again. And again. And again.
• You're so pretty! (I'm putting that one in just to make me feel better.)
  

He might be messy but he's all we've got!

Who says that drool and boogers can't be cute?

Mommies Night Out

Six mommies. 3 bottles of wine. Lovely appetizers, dinner and desserts. No babies. No husbands. A perfect night. We set the ground rules beforehand: no discussing babies and no husband-slamming.

What did we do all night? Tried not to discuss babies, which led to some dishing about our husbands, which led us back to talking about babies. Oh well. We tried. I can't really fault us for reverting to comfortable topics. We are mommies. We are wives. We all stay at home (for the most part) and our worlds have gotten very small. That's not a bad thing, that's just new for us. We used to be out in the world. We worked. We took classes. We ran in social circles. Now, we still work but our work is teaching and nurturing (not to mention cleaning and running errands.) We still take classes, but the topics have shifted from Medieval Literature and Thai cooking to baby sign language and Gymboree. We used to run in social circles. Now, we just run in circles. Literally. I know that Jack and I do at least 45 laps each day just in our house alone!
I know there will come a day when we might all return to working outside the home, go back to school or stay out on the town way past our bedtimes, but, for now, I'm totally happy to spend 3 hours with 6 wonderful women who (just a year ago) were total strangers to me. And who, with any luck, will remain my friends for years to come.

Sesame Street ain't what it used to be...

And I don't mean that in a bad way.

I know that I haven't been a regular viewer of Sesame Street since 1977, but a lot has changed since then. They are still very focused on teaching the ABCs and 123s and on instilling wonderful values like kindness and sharing, but the look of the show is quite different.

Some changes to note:

• There is a laundromat on the Street now, run by an Indian woman. Said laundromat is frequented by an elephant wearing a tutu. I don't think there is anything to infer from this but I thought it was interesting.
• A veterinarian has taken up residence. What an impressive show of business acumen! How were all of these animals getting their vaccinations before this? Did they have to go to Brooklyn? Is Oscar even an animal? What exactly is Oscar (besides a grouch?)
• Apparently, Mr. Hooper died. Now, a hilarious Asian guy runs the store and he gets all of the good lines. If I got to be on Sesame Street, I would want to be this guy.
  
• Who is Elmo's agent? Man, this Muppet is the focus of, like, 80% of this show! I know he's cute and all, but, seriously, he is really annoying!
• Bert and Ernie are no longer fixtures on the show. When they do appear, they are starring in Claymation shorts. This is wrong on so many levels...Bert and Ernie are supposed to be made of felt. Not clay. It's creepy.
  
• Where is Kermit? Did he die like Mr. Hooper did? Did Elmo -- or Elmo's people -- do something awful to him? Is he swimming with the fishes?
• Snuffaluffagus looks like hell! Can't someone brush this poor animal? There's a vet on Sesame Street now, for Christ's sakes! Doesn't she notice? Shouldn't Big Bird do something?
• There is now a celebrity appearing on almost every episode: Anderson Cooper, the Goo Goo Dolls, Sandra Oh, Michelle Obama. The list goes on and on. I don't remember seeing anyone other than the regular cast when I was a viewer. Muppets were the celebrities!
  
• The song is different, but the same. Not so sing-songy anymore. More of a hip hop version of its former self. Not sure if this change is for the parents or for the kids. It makes me sad.

This is still one of the best things on TV. We don't sit down to watch the show everyday, or even in its entirety when we do watch, but Jack seems to love it and I might even enjoy it more than he does! It makes me happy to know that there is at least one hour of programming each day where no one gets shot, no one is mean without consequences, no one utters a four-letter word (unless it is "shoe" or "boat" or "rock") and no one dies. Except for poor Mr. Hooper. And maybe Kermit. I'm still looking into that one.