Mommies need a break too.

Just when I start to think I'm pretty good at this mommy thing I have a day like we are having today. I think Jack needs to eat and Jack needs to fling yogurt at me. I know that Jack needs to nap because he has bags under his eyes the size of Rhode Island but he screams bloody murder until I rescue him from the crib. I decide (perhaps unwisely) that we should go to the playground to rid Jack of all of his excess energy and that goes well, he even falls asleep on the way home. But, then comes the awful moment where I try to transfer him from the car to the crib and the horrible cry, scream, wail, sob cycle begins all over again. Jack wants to nurse. Jack doesn't want to nurse. Jack wants to nurse but decides to bite and kick instead. Just as I've almost reached my limit and the tears start to fall (mine, not Jack's) he laughs at me. That's it. I'm at my breaking point. Jack is in the crib. I'm sobbing in the kitchen. Jack is throwing all of his toys out of the crib and onto the floor and screaming "Mama" at the top of his lungs and all I can do is cry and cry and cry. I'm calm now but Jack is wide awake and I want nothing more than to curl up and take a nap. I know that there will always be days like this and that it has nothing to do with whether I'm a good mom or not, but it definitely seem like some sort of test that I'm failing. Today, anyways. There's still a few more hours left for me to feel like I'm redeeming myself. I'm going back in...wish me luck.